The So Bad It's Good Movie Blog

File Under: Ridiculous

2010-02-01T06:37:00.000-08:00

My friend Blair introduced me to It's Potty Time (potty training musical video). He loves it so much, his band has even covered some of the songs when they've played live.
Now, every time I go VHS hunting, I find it. I think I'm going to start collecting as many copies as I can since I know lots of people having babies right now.
I've already started singing the songs to my nephew, though he's pretty far away from being potty trained. I sometimes change the lyrics to be about pooping in diapers. "He's a super duper pooper! He can mess his diaper with the beeest!!"
Anyway, too many hilarious scenes in this video. I might be on a hunt to find the children and reunite them for Incredibly Strange Movie Night!
But you don't need to find the video or come to ISMN to see it because it's online!! Someone uploaded It's Potty Time!! Watch it now.

Fun to Know: Car Care Tips!

2010-01-25T06:33:00.000-08:00

A week ago I went into Toronto and had a day of major movie scores. The day became even better when I arrived home that night and saw my amazon order arrived. So many movies to watch! The one I couldn't wait to pop in my player first was a Car Care Tips DVD (bought at Honest Ed's. I wouldn't order this from amazon, I sware!).

Sometimes I find DVDs or videos and they look so cheesy or the write-up on the back sounds so silly, but when I actually watch them, they don't live up to the case. Not the case with Car Care Tips. Here's what I found:
1) Shirtless men, acting sexy and taking themselves very seriously.
2) Different funk music for each segment.
3) Very seeexy voice giving instructions.
4) Car information filled with sexual innuendos (the picture above is when the sexy voice says, "You don't want your windsheild to get dirrrty.")

But, as fun and cheesy as this DVD is, it is also informative. I honestly had no clue about checking the air pressure in my tires or looking for corrosion in my car battery. Wonder where these men are? I would like to thank them. Or, really, I would like to know how much they got paid to make this cheesy DVD.

The Santaland Trilogy

2010-01-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

I know Christmas is long over, but some things are just too good to keep for only once a year. Okay, plus I received K. Gordon Murray's, The Santaland Trilogy this year for Christmas, so when I got around to watching it, the holiday was over.
But it doesn't matter. These three short films are so incredibly strange, they wouldn't put anyone in the Christmas spirit anyway.
For the past few years, I've been watching Rene Cardona's Santa Claus, brought from Mexico and redubbed by K. Gordon Murray, always thinking "This is such a strange film."
Well, hard to believe, but The Santa Trilogy is even stranger!
These films are so incredibly bizarre, I couldn't wrap my head around how they were ever made. I knew there must be a story behind them, so I went to the ultimate source for Kiddie Matinee, Rob Craig (of kiddiematinee.com).
He explained, K. Gordon Murray was so successful with his Kiddie Matinee imports (Santa Claus, Puss N Boots, Little Red Riding Hood), by 1964 he needed more product, and fast, and cheap! So he sent a small crew (Manny San Fernando and Ruben Guberman, as far as I can tell) to some Santaland tourist parks (in Illinois and California) to film these short subjects in silent 16 mm. He then dubbed them like cartoons, and released them both as separate FEATURES (!) and in some of his fairy tale anthology movies.
He had a local costume shop "recreate" the Wolf and Skunk costumes, and very badly, as you can see.
These horrible/lovable featurettes played the Matinee circuit from 1964 well into the late 1970's. I saw Santa's Enchanted Village in the theatre, along with The Magic Christmas Tree, in 1980!
Rob also told me the entire story of the creation of the Santa Trilogy will be told in the K. Gordon Murray documentary, The Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray. Come on Daniel Griffith, release it! I can't wait any longer!

I feel like The Santaland Trilogy really shows how warped K. Gordon Murray's mind was because not only did he produce these films, but for the first time we're experiencing his writing. When I watch them, I can't stop saying, "How does this exist?!", which is actually pretty amusing and remarkable to think there was a time when someone was allowed to pull something as strange as this off and a time when people could see it in the theatre no less!

The first film of the trilogy, Santa and His Helpers, begins with footage taken right from Rene Cardona's, Santa Claus (wonder if Cardona ever knew about this)? We have the same opening sequence redubbed. Although the children in Toyland are singing, no words come from their mouths. Santa still lives just above the North Pole, in outerspace. He also uses the magic teletalker, hear-all ear, the behaviour computer and the see-it-all telescope connected to the magic eye. Instead of looking down on Mexico, Santa looks down on his villages, which help him prepare for Christmas.

Now, before I've shown my friends the Santaland Trilogy, I always make them watch a few small scenes from Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters (one of my favourite K. Gordon Murray imports). This way they can see the original Mexican Stinky the Skunk and the Ferocious Wolf costumes. I always thought their costumes were pretty terrible, but they're nothing in comparison to their recreations in The Santaland Trilogy!

The costumes are different, but the voices are the same. However, the characters act quite different than they did in the Mexican fairytales.

Santa witnesses the Ferocious Wolf hitting Stinky the Skunk on the head (repeatedly), as the Wolf says, "Oh that awful smell! I should give you 17 slaps before I kick you out of Santa's Village! 10'000 curses! Oh my ulcer! 10'000 curses, I can't stand you as my helper anymore!" These phrases are repeated not just through Santa and his Helpers, but also repeated in Santa's Enchanted Village.

Stinky just repeats, "Oh but boss!" in his annoying nasally voice, which was actually voiced by K. Gordon Murray himself (!??).

Puss n' Boots joins the picture to defend Stinky, which just leads to all the characters yelling overtop of one another for at least two minutes straight.

It's a huge relief when Santa, with use of Merlin's special flower and the 5th dimension, finally arrives to stop the fight (what took him so long)? He sends the three characters marching back to the village to make toys.

Cue the repetitious WWII marching music. The same toy making scenes repeat. My favourite is the one where the elf tries to assemble this doll, but the head keeps falling off....and that would be the end of Santa and His Helpers.

Now, Santa's Enchanted Village. Each of Santa's Villages have their very own North Pole made of real ice. Puss catches Stinky trying to "eat up the North Pole", so he gives him a lecture. Stinky claims he's just on his ice cream break, which ended two hours ago.

Stinky is sent back to the workshop to make toys, but decides to sneak out and watch a puppet show instead. Meanwhile, the Wolf complains to Santa about Stinky's lack of work and his ulcer. Santa just laughs at him, so with no support from Santa, the Wolf searches around the village for Stinky. With each step he takes, an out-of-tune accordian plays (so annoying)!

Finally he finds Stinky watching the puppet show, and we have the same fight as in Santa and His Helpers. "I should give you 17 slaps before I kick you out of Santa's Village! 10'000 curses! Oh my ulcer!"

Stinky goes back the workshop, where we see the same scenes of elves making toys to WWII marching music. Stinky sharpens the blade of a skate and I can't help but be worried for the child in the costume. At one point he turns around and it looks like his tail is going to be sawed off.

Lastly, we have Santa's Magic Kingdom. I'll keep my synopsis of this one short. Cinderella comes to the village to warn everyone that an ogre is coming to destroy the land and everyone in it. When we finally see the ogre (shown for a split second), he's just a crappily made statue. His reason for wanting to destory the village sound just like Pitch from Santa Claus. He doesn't like that Santa makes the children of the world be good, he wants them to "be bad, like me!"

Anyway, Merlin with his magic powers stops the ogre (why couldn't he do that with Pitch)? This makes Cinderella burst into song, singing, "Give a Little Whistle", with everyone joining along. None of the voices seems to match the characters.

Cinerella's voice is definitely the same singer as the opera singer, who voiced the singing parts of Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters.

Honestly, my synopsises of these films and screen captures do no justice to how incredibly bad, strange and entertaining they are. There's something very special about these films. They just need to be experienced. And if you'd like the experience, just let me know!

My Past Two Months of Movie Viewing

2010-01-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

The past couple months I've started something extremely nerdy: I carry around a movie journal. It follows me everywhere, just incase someone recommends movies. I also write notes on the movies I watch...and nerdiest of all, sometimes I even paste pictures in.
I don't care how nerdy it may be, it's awesome because I can tell you everything I've watched the past couples months. Without this book, I probably couldn't remember them all.
So, here's my list of movies watched within the past two months:

Jimmy the Boy Wonder (1966)
Mr. Sardonicus (1961)
Little Red Ridinghood and the Monsters (1962)
A Bucket of Blood (1959)
Night of the Comet (1984)
Die Monster Die! (1965)
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)
Rat Pfink a Boo Boo rewatch (1966)
The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters (1966)
Santa Claus rewatch (1959)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians rewatch (1964)
The Magic Christmas Tree (1964)
K. Gordon Murray's Santaland Trilogy - Santa and His Helpers (1964), Santa's Enchanted Village (1964), Santa's Magic Kingdom (1966)
Destroy All Planets (1968)
Wild in the Streets (1968)
Basket Case (1982)
Eegah rewatch, but this time with MST3K (1962)
Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster (1974)
Monster From the Ocean Floor (1954)
Hercules Against the Moon Men (1964)

I also watched some NEW movies, but they aren't included in my journal because I won't include reviews for them in my zines or they just suck (Paper Heart? More like Toilet Paper Shart!). However, you can expect full reviews of some the movies listed above in the next issue. Tonight I will be putting in an order for movies I asked for Christmas and didn't get. There's quite a few, but the one I'm most excited about is La Nave De Los Monstruos (The Ship of Monsters) (1960). This movie looks to have the most incredibly amazing monsters of any film I have ever seen...and it's Mexican! My hopes are high for this one.

Scopitone New Year

2010-01-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I spent New Year's Eve projecting Scopitones on the wall of my friend, Awn's apartment, blasting smoke from my smoke machine and enjoying the night with bubbly wine and many old and new friends. Such a fun way to start 2010!
Anyway, I just wanted to share a couple of my favourite scopitones:
Just Like Me - The Condors
Where Did All The Good Times Go - Dick & Dee Dee
The Web Of Love - Joi Lansing (who you may recognize from Queen of Outerspace)
I have two resolutions for the new year:
1 - Teach myself to dance like a scopitone dancer
2 - Update this blog...and maybe write more movie reviews and less personal anecdotes from my movie discoveries? Well, unless that's what you guys want...who reads this anyway? I might as well just write this for myself.

The Year I Hijacked Xmas!

2009-12-29T15:11:00.000-08:00

This will be the last picture of my lovely decoration that followed me from screening to screening this December. Here he is outside of the Trinity, in Sarnia, Ontario, where my cousin helped me host the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians screening. Amazing turn out and once we (finally) fixed our technical difficulties with our technology, everything went wonderfully. The owners invited us back to host screenings there regularly. They told us they were surprised how incredibly "professional" we were (hahaha!) and said, "My son is in film school and people of his generation need to see films like these." So true. These are the films not shown in film school and they can definitely teach film students, even if it's how not to make a film.

On Christmas Eve, my aunt and uncle hosted their annual party. I started playing Christmas shorts from the 40's and 50's on their TV, but then I ran out and had to play Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, The Magic Christmas Tree and Santa Claus. The TV was on mute and Christmas music was playing in the room, but people were still hypnotized by what was on the TV screen.

My favourite present by far this Christmas was my RE/Search Incredibly Strange Films book. It was published in the 1980's and has been out of print for years, making it quite difficult to get ahold of. Thanks Erin and Nuno! This will definitely help in my quest to find strange movies and gain film knowledge.

On boxing day, my cousin and I decided to stay out of malls and instead stay home and decorate gingerbread cookies. We decided to pay tribute to the celebrities we lost this year.

I know Ray Dennis Steckler is not totally considered a celebrity, but he is to me.

A Goblin's Own Reality Show!

2009-12-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

Last night was the screening of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the NAC. I loved watching it on their enormous movie screen. There needs to be more movie nights in this space because it's really the perfect venue for movie screenings! The low attendance wasn't discouraging, because I know if I had more time to publicize the event and people didn't have Christmas parties and other obligations this time of year, it would be have been better attended. I'm just learning these things. hehe.

I'm also learning about bidding on films on ebay. I got such a good deal on Godzilla vs. the Cosmic Monster, I'm a little worried there might be something wrong with the print. Let's hope not and I just totally scored!

This week, I found out about a new reality show on TLC I'm actually interested in, and going to watch! I don't know what TLC's obsession is with "little people" and bakers, but it means that Steve Hatch and his wife, Katie, will be getting their own reality show about Hatch Family Chocolates in Salt Lake City, called "The Little Chocolatiers."

Steve Hatch played an uncredited Goblin in Troll 2 (all goblins were uncredited in the movie - very sad). I met him a couple years ago when I visited Utah for the first time and when I went back a couple months ago, I visited Hatch Family Chocolates twice, in hopes to see Steve again. Unfortunately, he wasn't in the shop and neither was his wife, Katie, who played an Ewok in Star Wars.

Anyway, I'm actually kind of excited to see their show. Let's hope it's not as lame as some (er, most) of the other shows on the same channel.

New Trash Palace Programmer/My Steckler Story

2009-12-14T14:46:00.000-08:00

The Trash Palace Christmas party was on Saturday and went marvelously. A great audience and great reaction to all the films. I hope this can become an annual event. Above is my sign I put outside of Trash Palace (I meant to take more pictures of the night, but was way too distracted). I found the sign out in someone's garbage last year (no, I did not steal it!) and finally had a good occasion to use it.
This weekend I was given the title as an "official" Trash Palace programmer by owner, Stacey. He's in the process of making me a programmer shirt. I'm the first female Trash Palace programmer, so I'll be getting a male shirt, but I'm already thinking of ways I can tailor it, just a bit, to fit better on my female figure. I've also already started to bid on full length feature films. How exciting!!

On Thursday night, I was watching my VHS copy of Ray Dennis Steckler's, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. This tape was once owned (and even autographed) by Ray Dennis Steckler himself!!
Interesting story: My friend Blair was in Las Vegas late last January and walked into a video store. He noticed all kinds of Steckler-related stuff inside the store, so he asked the person running the store, "What's the connection to Ray Dennis Steckler here?"
The man said, "This was his store. He died two weeks ago. I'm so sad I lost my friend."
The man actually played a role in Steckler's film, The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skidrow Slasher.
Anyway, he let Blair take a look at Steckler's movie collection, which was now being sold in the store. Blair purchased Steckler's own copy of Rat Pfink and while I was in Utah last October, I purchased it from Blair for $30. (Blair already owned two copies of the movie and had Steckler's autograph on his Incredibly Strange Film Book).
Now back to my story: So, I was watching Rat Pfink Thursday night and when the tape ended, The Lemon Grove Kids came on. This made me quite excited, because I was planning to order it from amazon soon and now I didn't have to. Then when it was over, an interview with Steckler came on, then footage from an Incredibly Strange Creatures revival screening (that Steckler taped on his camcorder) came on, then lost footage from this movies and trailers and BEST of all, home video of him opening presents with his family on Father's Day!!
TOTALLY CRAZY!! Does anyone else own this stuff? Thank you Ray, where ever you may be, for making this awesome tape. You're turning me into a superfan of your work!

Conan Recommends Troll 2/More Info on Christmas Screenings

2009-12-09T17:49:00.001-08:00

Conan O'Brian has a new segment on this show where he's the "new Oprah", since Oprah has announced her retirement. He's been recommending things for people to obsess over and you wouldn't believe what he recommend the other night.
Click on this link to find out!!
I love Conan, even more than before (possible?!), and will love him even more (possible?!), if he brings Michael Stephenson and George Hardy on his show for Best Worst Movie. Don't worry, I've already wrote several letters to Conan to suggest this.
Anyway, more details on my Christmas screenings as promised:
Saturday night (the 12th) at Trash Palace in Toronto:
Greg will be showing A Cosmic Christmas, I will be showing Santa Claus, Jonathan will be showing Davey and Goliath Christmas Special and Stacey will be showing some 16 mm Christmas films as well (but he's keeping them a secret).

At first, we weren't going to sell tickets in advance and just sell them at the door. However, people kept going to Eyesore Cinema looking for tickets and our Facebook event showed an over capacity attendance, so you can now buy your tickets in advance at Eyesore. Buy them NOW!! The owner of Eyesore informed us, they're selling very quickly. This will be a sold out screening for sure. WOW!!
Then on Wednesday (the 16th), I will be hosting an Incredibly Strange Movie Night, Special Christmas screening:

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Niagara Artists' Centre in St. Catharines.
Doors at 8 and films start at 8:30. In addition to the film, I'll be showing Christmas cartoons from the 40's and 50's and Santa Claus' Punch and Judy.

This event is pay what you can and/or bring a non-perishable food item, to be donated to a local food bank.

And I almost forgot to mention that this Friday (the 11th), Trash Palace is having another educational film night. I may also be contributing a 16 mm educational film or two again. No matter what, it's always so much fun to attend!

What a crazy, fun week I have ahead of me. :)

Christmas Movie Screenings in December

2009-11-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

I have some pretty exciting Christmas events coming up in the month of December. I've gone from hosting little backyard movie screenings in the summer, to indoor public ones this winter.
But first I have to tell you that on December 12th, I will be at the Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen St. West, Toronto) from 10 am to 5 pm, for the Toronto Small Press Fair. I'll be selling copies of my zine there, so drop by and pick up your copy of issue #2 if you haven't already!
Then the evening of December 12th, I'll be helping to host a Trash Palace Christmas screening with my favourite Christmas movie ever, K. Gordon Murray's Santa Claus!!
For the past few years, I've been watching this movie repeatedly every Christmas. I'm so excited to see it with an audience, especially the one at Trash Palace (it's the perfect place for it to be shown). We'll also be showing some Christmas shorts before and after the film as well. Tickets will be available at Eyesore Cinema.

Then on December 23rd, I will hosting a screening of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Trinity in Sarnia, Ontario. This event may even be followed by a Christmas dance party. You'll have to wait for more details on that.

I may also be hosting another Christmas screening in my own area (the Niagara region), but it hasn't been finalized, so details on that one will come later as well.

At these events, I'll be selling this compilation I made of Christmas songs I found at Thrift Stores, "Merry Thriftmas! Vol. 1". Most of them are not your typical Christmas songs, but they're sure to put you in the Christmas spirit! I'm excited to make a new volume each Christmas. My new tradition started this year.

New SBIGM issue and a trip to the Saltair

2009-11-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

I finally finished issue #2!! So many monstrous reviews, amazing articles from my contributors and a comic I just love drawn by my brother-in-law (he also did the covers).
If you were unable to make it to Canzine this weekend to get your copy, you can either contact me for an issue or head over to Eyesore Cinema (801 Queen St. W, Toronto) because they're selling it there as well.

I recently came back from Utah, so I thought I'd also use this update to share my pictures from the Great Saltair, the filming location of one of my favourite films, Carnival of Souls.

Blair driving to the Saltair.

We drove down the same roads that Mary Henry drove down in Carnival of Souls.

Approaching the Saltair.

"Can we go in there?"

Even though this is not the original Saltair from Carnival of Souls (it was burned to the ground in the 1970's and then rebuilt), it still holds so much eeriness. I completely understand why Herk Harvey wanted this location for his film.

Just like in Carnival of Souls, the Saltair was closed...but that didn't stop us!

We made it inside. The dance floor for the zombies.

We're hoping to use this space for a reunion screening of Carnival of Souls next year.

They have original pictures of the Saltair hanging in their gift shop.

I think this picture was taken probably a few years before Carnival of Souls was filmed because it has the amusement park equipment in it.

This picture is from 1914, and shows people dancing on the largest dance floor in all of America at the time. Yes! People actually danced here, just like the zombies!

The fire that burned the original Saltair down. :(

Someone made a model of the original!

I wish it still looked this way.

Looking over the balcony, just like Mary Henry.

Yes, Blair and I are major dorks and we actually reenacted some scenes from Carnival of Souls. haha!

The beach where the zombies chased down Mary Henry.

Where should my next trip to a filming location be???

a slight break

2009-08-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, I realize I haven't update in a while. I still have been watching bad movies and my writing has been lacking, but I've been updating this blog instead. Even more personal, but still mostly movie related. I'll try to come back here soon.

Incredibly Strange Movie Night

2009-06-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

I've decided to dedicate my summer to movies. By that I mean, I will be finishing the second issue of my fanzine, I will be setting up movie nights in backyards all summer long and attending as many nights at Trash Palace as I can.

The backyard movie idea came from a night I hosted a year ago. The Trollympic night, now made famous from the documentary, Best Worst Movie. I decided I wanted to spend every weekend this summer watching movies in backyards, so a friend and I purchased a movie screen from kijiji. Then I purchased an LCD projector. I'm calling these nights "Incredibly Strange Movie Night".

It's incredibly strange because of the movies I choose. Most are pretty rare, "so bad it's good", or just strange, yet still watchable and enjoyable. The experience is kinda strange I guess too. It's like a drive-in without the cars. But the experience is always fun! I love throwing parties, even if there is no reason. Half the fun for me is the set up. I've been finding amazing prizes to give away and baking goodies for the night.

So far, I've been starting the nights by showing things like ABC promos '64-74, 50's educational films, Scopitones or 80's cartoons. Then we have our main feature. We've watched Test Tube Babies and Troll 2. Unfortunately, Troll 2 was rained out, so we watched the movie inside.

I have so many movies I want to show this summer, so we better not have a wet one! If anyone is interested in attending, email: ismnniagara at gmail dot com

Here are some pictures from my 4th annual Troll 2 party:

Incredibly Strange Movie Nights in the works:

- William Castle night (with his gimmicks!)

- The Wizard (not so strange, but certainly funny!)

- Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo / Rappin'

The Best Best Movie is Best Worst Movie!

2009-05-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I don't even know what to say in regards to finally seeing Best Worst Movie. I thought I'd wait a couple days after seeing the film for the first time, to let myself digest what I saw. However, I'm still pretty speechless. And now that the Hot Docs screenings are done, I keep on running the movie through my mind, replaying my favourite scenes because I wish I could see it again...right now! This is definitely going to be one of those films I watch repeatedly. Just like Troll 2!!

The Toronto Star was the first to release the new trailer for Best Worst Movie on Friday (you can watch it here). I've caught my mom watching it by herself in the basement, which I find amusing because the past few years my parents have disapproved of my Troll 2 obsession. I think they're finally coming around.

Anyway, I went to the first screening on Friday night and was interviewed for the Circuit on Space Channel. I probably made quite the nerd of myself during this interview, but it's going on Space, so I'm sure I'll seem pretty normal. Look for it this week.

Finally seeing Best Worst Movie wasn't the only exciting thing at the screenings. I got to catch up with Michael Stephenson, George Hardy and Katie Graham, who aren't just people involved in Best Worst Movie, but friends I've made during it's filming. I also became friends with the producer, Brad Klopman, who's incredibly nice.

The second night I brought my "Trollympic" friends with me. Here we are posing with our Troll 2 t-shirts. The shirts Sonia and I are wearing were made by my talented brother-in-law, Nuno, and even made an appearance in the movie. They are probably the most unattractively fitted shirts we could wear, but we weren't there to look good. We were there to watch Best Worst Movie and display our love of Troll 2.

Little did I know, I'd be asked up on stage of the Bloor Cinema for the Q & A session after the film. Very flattering that I played such a role in Best Worst Movie! I stood in front of 500 + people (including film stars, Michael Cera and Edgar Wright). Very rad!!

Incase you're wondering what's in my hands in the two previous pictures above, I received a great birthday gift made by Nuno (did I already mention how talented he is?). It's a Mighty Mugg doll of ME! It's perfect that I'm wearing my Goblin shirt, not just because it shows my Troll 2 fandom, but I own three goblin shirts so the chances of running into me wearing one of them is more likely than anything else in my wardrobe.

With all the hype I've given Best Worst Movie, and the fact that I'm in it (which is completely surreal to see yourself on a big screen), it might be hard to take my word when I tell you this film is INCREDIBLE!! But just take my word for it, or read the reviews it's been getting, or better yet, see it for yourself when you get the chance.

On a very personal note, I feel like I'm one of the most fortunate Troll 2 fans to have experienced everything I did during the making of this film. Having Nilbog Storekeeper, Don Packard hit on me, stand on the doorstep of Margo Prey's house, perform the Holly Waits dance in front of Connie Young, stay in a house with the director and writer, Claudio Fragasso and Rossella Drudi. Gosh, that doesn't even skim the surface of my experiences. When I look back on it, it's insane and awesome. How many people hold such incredible personal experiences with their favourite film? I'm one very lucky Troll 2 fan!

Someone Spoiled the Nilbog Milk

2009-04-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

Before I update with the newest Nilbog news, I think everyone should watch this clip of Daniel Johnston shopping for VHS. I've been a huge Daniel Johnston fan since the age of 13, but after watching this clip, my love for Danny J has been brought to a new level! I completely feel his excitement with his boxes of VHS "This is like the Price is Right. It's like taaa-daaa!"
Even if you're not a fan of his music, I'm sure you can still appreciate how cute his excitement is by shopping for VHS movies.

Daniel Johnston's shopping spree wasn't the only exciting thing happening at SXSW. Someone there spoiled the Nilbog milk and has posted new scenes from Best Worst Movie to the net...and I'm in them! So, here's some screen captures of my appearances (that I've seen so far) in the film.

Joe, Emily and Sonia having a race in plant pots at the Trollympic games (I cheer them on).

Troll 2 playing in the backyard. Backyard screenings are the best. I need to host some more this summer.

Aw, my friends and I watching Troll 2 in the backyard. Cracking up at it's hilarity of course.

Lovin' the Nilbog sap poured on my face. I forgot that there was a camera filming outside the Bloor Street Cinema, so I never expected for this to make it in the film.

But forget about ME!! MARGO PREY is in Best Worst Movie!! I was screaming with ultimate excitement when I finally saw her.
Okay, so here's where I saw these spoilers. But more importantly, here's where you can get your tickets to see Best Worst Movie when it makes it's Canadian premiere at Hot Docs.

Spring Screenings!

2009-03-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

Such exciting screening news to report. I'm going to start with my birthday screening. Yep, you're all invited to my birthday party, which of course, is a bad movie screening. The awesome folks from Trash Palace are coming from Toronto to Niagara to host.

For those of you unfamiliar with Trash Palace, let me just tell you, it's the coolest place to go on a Friday night in Toronto. It's put on by some 16 mm collectors, with great movie taste. Most of their collection consists of strange, obscure and always fun and entertaining films (examples: the Swimmer, 13 Frightened Girls, Scream and Scream Again).

Anyway, here's the details for my birthday screening:

Movie: DEADLY EYES

Plus: CLASSROOM FILMS FROM HELL

Date: April 25th, 2009

Location: Niagara Arts Centre (the NAC)

254 Saint Paul Street

St. Catharines, Ontario

Time: Doors at 7:30 - Show starts at 8:30

Price: $5 at the door

I have yet to see Deadly Eyes, but I understand it involves weiner dogs dressed up as rats, infesting the city of Toronto. Plus, it was released in 1982 (the year I was born), so I think it's appropriate for my birthday. The classroom films from hell will be hilarious (I've seen most of them at Trash Palace). Getting to see an angry puppet fight will make my birthday the best ever!!

The excitement doesn't stop when my birthday's over. The following weekend Best Worst Movie (the Troll 2 documentary I can not stop talking about on here) is having it's Canadian premiere at Hot Docs, international documentary film festival, in Toronto. For more information and to purchase tickets, click here. I don't think I need to say anything more about Best Worst Movie. I'm sure once you all see it, you'll understand why I can't stop talking about it. I urge everyone to check it out (and not just because I may or may not make an appearance in the film)!!

Troll 2 Experience 3: The Present's House

2009-03-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

I wanted put this entry up a few days ago but I've been caught up in reading the contributions for the lastest edition of the So Bad It's Good Movies Fanzine. I'm so pleased with what my contributors wrote, I can't wait to get this fanzine out. My new target date is April 25th - the day of my birthday movie screening in St. Catharines, hosted by Trash Palace. I hope to sell it there. More news coming on the screening and zine coming shortly.
Back to Troll 2 adventures. One of the many reasons I went to visit Utah was to see this house. Especially since it was being torn down the next month. The Present's house (out in the country) is the main setting for Troll 2. Since the house was going to be torn down in a month, it was easy to break into. It was also left with loads of complete junk in it that made it easy to reenact all of our favourite scenes from Troll 2. It was my ultimate Troll 2 nerd fantasy!!

I could understand why Grandpa Seth couldn't figure out the layout of this house. This house honestly had the most confusing layout of any house I've ever been inside. Weird random rooms and hallways (many of which were never shown in Troll 2).

"Oh my gaaaawd!" I can't believe I'm standing infront of the Troll 2 house!

The view from the front of the house. Basically their yard is a lake.

Since the home was being torn down, there was a bunch of useless crap outside. Well, useless to most people. AWESOME to us!!

Lots of records!

This LSD record goes for over $100 on ebay. Found for free at the Presents' house. Crazy!!

"A month in the country will do us all good. Just imagine, we'll be living like our ancestors."

These cows were very neglected and very cute. Made me want to stop eating beef.

Side view of the house.

Oh my! The Troll 2 hallway.

"I don't like this place. Not one bit!" The room where the "tighten my belt loop" scene happened.

The room where Holly Waits dance was done.

"I've been fasting for three days!!!"

"Ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne!"

A goblin once rolled down these stairs.

"Joshua, you have 30 seconds to stop them from eating."

Look what we found in the shed! Perfect for reenacting the Grandpa Seth scene where he comes through the mirror, cuts off the hand of a goblin/Creedence and saves Joshua!

Blair being Grandpa Seth.

Grandpa Seth grin!

Me being Grandpa Seth.

This was my best attempt at a Grandpa Seth grin.

We even managed to make a molotov cocktail to bring out on the porch.

One more Troll 2 adventure to come!!

Troll 2 Experience 2: Cast Party

2009-03-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

Best Worst Movie had it's second screening at SXSW. The reviews keep on coming and they're all so positive! This comes as no surprise. I could tell from Michael and his filming crew's humour, talent and hard work, they were gonna have a hit. I really enjoyed this review I read from Filmmaker Magazine.
Today I was interviewed for a paper in London (England, not Ontario) about my Troll 2 fandom. I'll post a link to it when it's published online.
But back to my Troll 2 adventures. I'll pick up the day after the screening when we visited the Waits family home from the film. It's located in Sandy, Utah. Some of the cast and crew went inside the house to film, but I only saw it from the outside. I remember being extremely cranky because I hadn't showered in a while, very sweaty because it was so hot outside, over tired from the excitement and time change. Oh and hungry too. Basically, I skipped out for a milkshake, shower and nap. I guess that means I'm not the biggest Troll 2 fan.

That evening I went to a party, which was also a reunion for the cast. Blair and I were the only fans invited to the party, which was very exciting! Also, for the first time since the filming of Troll 2, the cast was going to be reunited with the beautiful Holly Waits - Connie Young!

Michael brought a pile of photos his parents took during the filming of Troll 2. He said he had them hidden in his garage for years, never thinking they'd ever see the light of day. I was so facinated looking at these photos and seeing "behind the scenes" stuff from my favourite film!

They had a picture of Michael about to piss on hospitality!

Katie Graham filmed Michael and George, as they tried to explain to Claudio and Connie how Troll 2 has developed a cult following.

I was sooo nervous to talk to Connie. Her acting and character is by far my favourite in the film. I sat at the table and explained to Connie why I love Troll 2 so much. I don't think she understood, but she was willing to pose with me in her most famous dance move!

Rossella and Claudio were so happy to be reunited with their Holly Waits.

Yep, I performed the Holly Waits dance infront of Holly Waits (and the rest of the actors). I should probably feel embarrassed about this, shouldn't I?

The Waits family - minus the mom, Margo Prey. Margo Prey - Where are you?

Jason Wright, Elliot Cooper, even confessed the crush he had on Connie all those years back.

Jason Steadman. More like Jason Studman!

"He's part of the family now!"

Connie attempted to teach Claudio how to perform her dance move. I don't quite think Claudio got it. haha!

Blair with Robert Ormsby, Grandpa Seth. He is such a cool old man. We gave him a ride home at the end of the night and he said, "I've always been a fan of bad movies. Movies like Robot Monster. But I never imagined I would ever be in one." Aw, I love Grandpa Seth!

We went to the basement to watch the trailer for Best Worst Movie. The two Jasons re-enacted their famous bed scene. I remember them saying to one another, "Did the thought ever cross your mind that this would be seen as gay when we filmed it?" "No" "Neither did I." haha!

The writer, director and actors of Troll 2 posed with the Welcome cake we brought to the party. This was such an incredible night and I'm still thrilled that I was a part of it. I'm not sure if any of the filming from this night ended up in Best Worst Movie, or not. But I'm glad I captured it with these pictures.

Stay tuned for my next Troll 2 installment: my visit the Troll 2 house!

Troll 2 Experience 1: The SLC Screening

2009-03-13T06:30:00.000-07:00

Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd!! Best Worst Movie is premiering tomorrow at SXSW. It's been getting tons of publicity and great reviews. My favourite so far is this one from Chud.com. The Ain't It Cool News reviewer was a little insulting in his review to us fans featured in the film (um, me?), and our love for the so bad it's good genre. Maybe he's referring to other fans (can't quite tell since I haven't seen the movie), but I can fully defend and support my love of so bad it's good movies. Geesh, it's just fun to find strange films. It's also fun to celebrate these films with fun parties, like I do with Troll 2. Lighten up bud! Anyway, I could go on with my so bad it's good movie philosophy, but I'll just recommend reading the first entry of my blog.
Anyway, as promised, my next few entries will highlight some of my Troll 2 experiences. Starting with the day of the Salt Lake City screening. I travelled all the way to Utah to meet the actors and visit the filming locations of my favourite film. It sounds pretty crazy, but that's how much I love Troll 2.

The first place I went when arriving in Utah (besides Blair's house to sleep) was a rad dinosaur museum in Ogden. I love dinosaurs and I love mountains, so Utah is the place for me.

We went to Hollywood Video in Salt Lake City, where the owner allowed us to buy up his VHS collection. This is a picture of what we bought. Or I should say, what Blair bought because I sadly could only fit 15 videos in my suitcase home.

Then I got to see Blair's amazing archive. I wish I could own everything he owns! Other highlights from this day include: trying "fry sauce", jumping on a trampoline for the first time, seeing Gedde Watanabe's house (the asian guy from Sixteen Candles), seeing the Mary tree and seeing the Paramount mountains. Woah! And there's still Troll 2!!

Tower Theater in downtown SLC hosted the event. They have Crispin Glover's faceprint outside of their theater.

Grandpa Seth, Grandpa Seth! I still can't banish you from my mind.

It's that playboy son of the Coopers, Elliot!!

Director of Troll 2, Claudio Fragasso (with Michael Stephenson) being reunited with Don Packard (the storekeeper) for the first time since the filming of Troll 2.

Don stared me up and down when he first met me and told me how I look different than he pictured me on the phone (I talked to him earlier that day). He forgot the shirt he made for me and invited me back to his place to get it. I rejected the invite and received the shirt months later in the mail.

Preacher Bells, Mr. Presents, Blair and Rossella (the writer of Troll 2). Rossella and I got along fabulously. No surprise we share very similar senses of humour.

With Michael Stephenson (little Joshua Waits and director of Best Worst Movie) and Blair.

Goblin fans dancing to the opening band.

Blair introducing Troll 2 to the audience.

Getting to see Troll 2 on a big screen with an audience was a completely different experience than watching it with a couple friends on my TV at home. Many parts became even funnier!

So many actors I couldn't even fit them all into this photo. I still believe this was the biggest Troll 2 Q & A to date. I wish they brought the actors who played the goblins to sit closer to the front.

With Creedence Leonore Gielgud. I think she has a crush on Blair. hehe.

Elliot and his little boys! Darren Ewing (Arnold), Michael Stephenson (Joshua), Jason Wright (Elliot Cooper), Claudio Fragasso (the director) and Jason Steadman (Drew).

Oh my gaaaaawd, that took a long time to upload!! And this is just the beginning. Coming soon: a private party for cast-only that I was able to attend (and Holly Waits was there!!), the Presents' house, the Waits' house, Creedence's church/house and the town of Nilbog!

Hey Mom and Dad, let's watch Mom and Dad!

2009-03-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Sunday night is family night at my house. Our family night consists of my sister and brother-in-law coming over with their dog, my dad making a roast and I showing everyone my latest strange/bad film discoveries in the basement. Sometimes I try to get them to sit through a whole movie, but most of the time I give them my edited versions of movies. "Oh my gosh guys, you gotta see this part!!"

Anyway, tonight my family is in for a real treat! I'll be showing them a real 1940's cesarean section from Mom and Dad. Oh my gosh, I almost threw up just trying to get this screen capture for my blog. I can't wait to see their reactions.

Tales of Trumpy

2009-02-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't been updating regularly. I've been busy with school/work and watching E.T. rip-offs. I was disappointed by Nukie. An alien creature in Africa with a dippy nose couldn't entertain me for over two hours. Actually, Nukie couldn't entertain me for more than 15 minutes. One of the most painful movies I've ever sat through (and you know I've been through many painfully bad movies).
On the other hand, Pod People I could watch mulitple times, but maybe it's because the MST3K commentary is so hilarious. I know I've mentioned before I'm not a huge MST3K fan because most episodes are hit or miss for me. Pod People episode is totally a hit! I can't wait to show this horror/wanna-be E.T. movie to friends. Dare I say it's as entertaining as Mac and Me? I don't know. I think I might have to watch them back-to-back because after watching Nukie, anything is genius!
I shouldn't reveal anything more. I plan to cover E.T. rip-offs in the new issue of my zine (hopefully out by the end of next month), which also means if this blog is kinda bare between now and then, I'm probably focussing on that. Might as well use that time to track down Pod People. I highly recommend it as a "so bad it's good" movie. If I haven't sold you on Pod People, can I just add it's a Spanish translation film?

Best Worst Movie Premiere Announcement

2009-02-09T16:15:00.000-08:00

It's official! Best Worst Movie, the Troll 2 documentary is having it's world premiere at the South by Southwest (SXSW) film festival next month.
I know it's crazy to travel all the way to Austin, Texas just to see a movie, but I'm considering it. That shouldn't come as a surprise after traveling all the way to Utah for Troll 2. I can't wait to see it, I need a vacation, plus it coincides with my March break. Okay, and I'm kind of nervous to see how I'm portrayed in this film. Not that I don't trust the director, Michael Stephenson. If I come off as the biggest bad movie dork, it's no one's fault but my own.
Anyway, I feel like I haven't properly documented my Nilbog adventures. The article about it from the first issue of my fanzine is like the Coles Notes version. So, after Best Worst Movie premieres, I will be updating my blog with lots of pictures and fantastic memories of my Troll 2 experiences. Consider it like "behind the scenes" footage of Best Worst Movie!

Test Tube Babies

2009-02-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

One of my bestest friends, Awn recently made the move from Afganistan to Toronto, after serving the people who serve our country. Awn is one of the very few friends I have who is not forced to watch strange movies with me. That’s because she’s one of the few friends I have who hunts these movies down herself (she introduced me to movies like Freaks and Forbidden Planet). Since her move in December, we’ve been having fun attending Trash Palace screenings, hunting down cheap movies (and other silly stuff) at places like Honest Ed’s and watching some of our movie finds at her new apartment.
One of these visits resulted in the discovery of Test Tube Babies. Awn was showing me a collection of Cult Classics she recently ordered on Amazon and I was perplexed that one of the movies from this collection had the title “Test Tube Babies” and was from 1948. “Uh, wasn’t the first test tube baby born in the late 70’s?” I said.
I was right! 1978 to be exact. So, how could a film from 30 years prior be about test tube babies? I thought this movie might be science-fiction, but we discovered it’s more like exploitation with a wee bit of education. We found it so entertaining, we watched it twice in one day (but the second time was mainly just to show Awn’s boyfriend how truly bizarre this film is). Now it’s time for me to show you that was well.

Test Tube Babies begins in the same way as Big Top Pee-Wee – a romantic picnic. George and Cathy enjoy a lovely picnic and talk about marriage and children. When Cathy mentions having a family, George says, “So you mean, you’ve been thinking about it too?” To which Cathy replies, “Of course silly, do you think I’d keep seeing you if I hadn’t.”
Geesh George, can’t you see that your girlfriend Cathy just wants you for her babies!!

To show us how happy George and Cathy are, we have a montage of clips of the couple doing “happy couple” things. Why must all happy couples run on the beach?

After a year of marriage, the couple start experiencing some marital problems. This is mainly caused by Cathy not making George his favourite breakfast of strawberries and cream and George’s friend, Grover putting the moves on Cathy. Did men really wear their pants this high in the 1940’s?

Of course Grover is going to be hitting on Cathy if she wears her sexy lingerie when he comes over.

Since George is too busying at work, Grover takes Cathy to a party. At the end of the night, Grover drops Cathy off and says, “Okay, kiss your gigolo goodnight.” And she kisses him. To make matters worse, Cathy lies to George about it!

To avoid the subject of cheating on her husband, Cathy just wants to talk about having a baby. She even lies to her husband, telling him she’s pregnant with “Junior”. When he asks “but what if Junior’s a girl?” Cathy says, “We’ll just have to keep trying till we have Junior”. Cathy is obviously a reincarnation of King Henry the VIII.

While George is busy working, Cathy throws one of the wild parties (spoken about earlier in the film). This party is totally out of control. Awn and I kept saying, “How come the parties we used to throw in university never got this out of hand?!” Maybe it’s because we never invited Don (drunk guy who performs magic tricks) to our parties. Don gives the best toast I’ve ever heard, which I have already memorized and plan to say at every party I attend in the future. “Here’s to it and to it again. If you don’t do it when you get to it, I hope you never get to it to do it again.” How profound.

This party has it all. Many random couples making out.

A woman Grover convinces to perform a striptease (while Don the drunk follows).

A lady who tries to balance a full glass of gin on her forehead, spills it, giving her an excuse to wear nothing but Don’s shirt (with nothing on underneath). Um, isn’t this movie supposed to be about test tube babies?

CAT FIGHT!! Grover’s date fights with the stripper he’s been hitting on all evening. This fight lasts way too long (obviously to expose as much boobage as possible). I love the cheering in the background.

After the wild party, Cathy and George talk about getting a divorce, but instead decide the solution to their problem is going to the “gin-and-col-o-jist” (that’s how they pronounce gynecologist) to find out why they can’t conceive. The gin-and-col-o-jist has such a familiar voice, I had to go and IMDB him. I WAS RIGHT! Turns out he’s Dr. Alton/the narrator in one of my favourite films, Ed Wood’s Glen or Glenda.

The doctor tells George and Cathy that George’s sterility is the cause of their baby conceiving problems and Cathy is obviously PISSED since that's the only reason she married him! However, the doctor informs the couple of artificial insemination. As suspected, this movie was mistitled.

Not knowing what to do, Cathy looks to her mother for advice. What on earth is on that woman's head?!

Smoking doctor. Here’s a dialogue that occurs while Cathy’s in the delivery room:
Doctor: "Get ahold of yourself. Why don’t you sit down and smoke a cigarette?"
George: "I’ve smoked a whole pack of those things since I’ve been here doctor. I’m worried about Cathy."
Doctor: "Yes, I know. Hey, why don’t you go and buy a pack of cigarettes? I haven’t gotten any either."
George: "Be sure nothing happens while I’m gone. I’ll get you a pack too doctor."
This actually seems more like a commercial for cigarettes than for artificial insemination.

And the movie closes with George and Cathy having the family they always dreamed of with Junior and his sister (I could have done a screen capture of that, but it's not as entertaining as these messages that appear when the movie is over). Of course, all their marital problems are automatically solved with children.

I don't think I have to be a chain smoking doctor to tell you that if you're having martial problems, children are the last things you should consider having!! But honestly, that message is one of the least messed up things found in this movie, which is why it's become one of my new favourites.

Missle to the Moon

2009-01-25T17:49:00.000-08:00

I had to take a sick day off work today. I'm on a 16 day working streak, but I guess not having a day off in between took a toll on my immune system. I understand why most people work only 5 or 6 days in a row, because I haven't felt this sick in a really long time.
Anyway, the only upside to being this sick is guiltlessly spending a day in bed with bad movies. One movie I watched was the Cat-Women of the Moon remake, Missle to the Moon.
I was lucky enough to catch Cat-Women of the Moon on Off Beat Cinema a few weeks ago (I was planning to order it online so I could see it). I was super excited to find a new "so bad it's good" spider in this film. Ever since this blog post, I've been on a mission to find not-so-scary spiders in movies. No one recommended Cat-Women of the Moon, but two different people recommended it's remake, Missle to the Moon. Now I understand why. First, here's the spider from Cat-Women of the Moon:

Pretty funny. But compare him to the spider in Missle to the Moon:

So much better!! You might ask why it was necessary to have a remake for a film less than 6 years after it's release. Well, I believe it's because they wanted to produce better spider scenes and the title Missle to the Moon is much more appropriate than Cat-Women of the Moon.

Or it might be because Gumby rock men should have been included in the first movie. Either way, I like Missle to the Moon much better.

Two Movies for the Price of One: Ghost Ninja

2009-01-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what attracted me to the movie, Ghost Ninja. The only ghostly movies I enjoy are old films like 13 Ghosts, or House on Haunted Hill and ninja movies is a whole genre I haven’t even touched. But from watching Ghost Ninja, I’ve realized I need to watch more poorly dubbed ninja movies (with or without ghosts).
Now, the copy I own of this movie is called “Ghost Ninja” (not plural, as the opening credits suggest). However, IMDB calls this movie “Diamond Ninja Force.”
I prefer the title Ghost Ninja because the movie is split up into two separate stories – one about ninjas and one about ghosts. The only thing that connects these stories are telephone conversations between the characters and a couple scenes that look worse than a Weird Al Yankovic interview (basically filmed in separate locations).

The movie opens with (Ninja Master) Gordon going for a lovely stroll with his woman around Hong Kong. They are confronted by a group of thugs (who I refer to as the Ninja Goonies). If this movie didn’t open with such a hilarious confrontation, I might have not continued watching. The confrontation goes like this:
Ninja Goonie: Something tells me that you’re a ninja!
Gordon’s Lady: What are they talking about Gordon?
Gordon: Nothing dear. Just an old fairytale.
Ninja Goonie: I know how to find out if you’re a ninja or not!
And the Goonies find their answer because Ninja Gordon proceeds to kick ass.

Introducing plot #2, which has no connection to anything mentioned above. This is the Wong family. Mom, Fanny (I went to high school with a girl named Fanny Wong!!), Dad, George and son, Bobo. What kind of name is Bobo? I mean, for a person (it's okay for a clown or chimp). The Wong family inherits a house, which turns out to be haunted by a ghost ninja and Bobo’s Grandma. However, only Fanny and Bobo notice the hauntings. George could care less about the ghosts or the traumatizing events his wife and son are going through. Nice husband and father.

Between major scenes, we have little scenes, which remind me way too much of Turkish Star Wars. You know, the music, the lighting, the nonsensicalness.

Here she is! The Ghost Ninja! She’s really a ghost (The Ring or The Grudge-sorta way) and not so much a ninja. This is the ghost that is haunting the Wong family’s newly inherited house. What the family doesn’t know, is that she’s just horny and wants to have sex with the husband, George.

Okay, midway through the film, we suddenly have some very lengthy sex scenes. These scenes have some of the worst lighting ever shown in a movie, which is probably a good thing. The screen capture above is Fanny and George running along the beach, if you couldn’t tell (which you probably couldn’t). This is the best lit screen capture of this scene I could possibly get for you.

Back to the first plot: Here’s Ninja Master Gordon talking on his Garfield phone to the Wong family, so that it looks as though these separate movies are one. Ninja Master Gordon also goes by the name “The Golden Ninja”, but the actors might just be saying “The Gordon Ninja” because their accents can’t pronounce the name “Gordon”?

Garfield phone!

Here’s one of the Goonie Ninja’s (I named this one Mouth) exercising in the most 80’s way, prior to getting his ass kicked by the Gordon Ninja.

The Gordon Ninja finds it necessary to pull down his face mask after kicking each Goonie ass. I think it’s just to reassure the viewer that he didn’t shave off his grey moustache. Nice eyeliner Gordon.

The Ghost Ninja abducts Bobo and stuffs his face with grass. Stuffing people’s face with grass is just what ghosts do when they haunt, right?

Fanny and George have sex, while the Ghost Ninja watches and masturbates. Uh, I’ve said enough.

And then the Ghost Ninja has sex with George and leaves him all naked on some rocks. When Fanny finds him, he says “It felt so good with her.” So George, do you now believe Fanny that your house is haunted?! Obviously he doesn’t wish to move.

When there’s a ghost in your house having sex with your husband, who you gonna call? GORDON NINJA...or Joey Greco! Ninja Gordon hooks Fanny up with a ghostbuster by the name of Firecracker.

Firecracker uses this contraption to rid the Ghost Ninja.

And Gordon Ninja fights off the last of the Goonie Ninjas. Thus, bringing closure to both stories.

2009: Year of the Bad Movie Documentary

2009-01-13T18:09:00.000-08:00

I know many people are anticipating the 2009 movie releases. Movies like Watchmen, Inglourious Basterds, Star Trek, just to name a few.
However, I rarely anticipate the release of new movies. For me, movies are more about discoveries of old and mostly forgotten films. It's difficult to look forward to seeing movies you don't even know exist.
But I find myself excited anyway because I know I'm going to discover many amazing films this year. My fanzine has helped me network with other strange film enthusiasts (I never imagined there are so many of us out there), who are filled with recommendations for films to check out and places to look for film finds.
Just this weekend I received a copy of The Cape Canaveral Monsters, purchased Eegah, The Terror and Web of the Spider. Plus, I discovered one of the most amusing films I've ever seen, Test Tube Babies (review on the way, I'm just waiting to receive my own copy from Amazon). Not to mention all those movies I got for Christmas. Bad movie overload!
What am I doing updating my blog, when I should be watching these movies ? Well, I wanted to admit to some anticipation for a couple new movies. Best Worst Movie (the Troll 2 documentary) and The Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray (the K. Gordon Murray documentary) are both being released this year.
Although it's not confirmed yet, rumour has it that Best Worst Movie will be premiering at SXSW in Austin, Texas in March.
No release news on The Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray, but the movie's official website has just been revamped and includes a new trailer, giving a better glimpse of what the documentary will look like. Suddenly I'm way more excited about 2009!

Interview with a Nintendo Wizard

2009-01-13T13:55:00.000-08:00

Two years ago, I worked on a blog with my friend Sean, and brother-in-law Nuno, called The 80's Blog. Even with three of us working on it, our updates became so sparse, we decided to call it quits and take it offline. Since it's no longer online, I thought it would be okay to recycle my interview with Luke Edwards, Jimmy Woods from The Wizard.

Before I share the interview, I just want to share a story from the interview.

About a month after this interview was conducted with Luke, I found out I was going to L.A., so I decided to ask Luke on a date. I asked him out for beers because all of his myspace profile pictures seemed to have him either drinking and/or drunk or passed out. He said no. I was rejected by Jimmy Woods. Wow, I've never felt so pathetic. We'll just blame it on the fact that Luke was probably intimidated (or creeped out) by my obsession with The Wizard.

Anyway, here's the 80's blog interview:

Luke Edwards was best known for his role as Jimmy Woods in the 1989 film, The Wizard. He carried around a yellow lunch pail, said “California” (quite a few times), and miraculously found the Warp Zone in Super Mario Three.
Although Edwards had few lines in The Wizard, he delivered an outstanding performance along side his co-stars Fred Savage, Jenny Lewis and Christian Slater. But whatever came of the Nintendo Wizard?
I had to opportunity to ask Edwards about his video game ability, the recent release of The Wizard on DVD and his life since his film debut.
KD: How did you get involved in the Wizard?
LE: Got called in by my agent to read for it. A really great lady by the name of Mali Finn cast me…
KD: Did you ever have trouble remembering your lines? (haha)
LE: Pretty good with that…Not always…
KD: Did you enjoy playing video games before you landed the role?
LE: Always have and always will
KD: Are you really a Nintendo Wizard or was that just really good acting?
LE: I’m really that good at video games…Even the first time I play them…If someone wants to challenge me to a video game duel I’ll be happy to demonstrate…
KD: Which ones are your favourites or do you recommend?
LE: Spy Hunter, Contra, NHL94.
KD: Were kids at school jealous you got to play Super Mario 3 before it was out?
LE: Yes, extremely.
KD: Did Nintendo give you free shit for being in the movie? Like did you get a Power Glove?
LE: Was promised a copy of Super Mario Three by the producers which I never fucking received…Still heated about that one…
KD: Do you still keep in touch with Fred Savage or Jenny Lewis? Do you listen to Rilo Kiley?
LE: Saw Fred last at the auditiion for Miracle, haven’t seen Jenny in years but it’s really great to see her do well with her band…bands?
KD: Do you ever try to pick up girls at bars by saying “Yeah, I was the Nintendo Wizard, Jimmy Woods”? If so, does it work? If not, you should try cause it’d totally work on me!
LE: Yeah, girls really go for that whole introverted, borderline autistic, video game champion thing…All I have to say is “fifty thousand on double dragon” and the panties hit the floor…
KD: Did you ever get sick of carrying around that yellow lunch pail? Did you ever forget it during the filming of scenes?
LE: Hated that fucking thing…
KD: What do you think would have REALLY happened if you left a lunch pail at the top of a dinosaur in Cabazon, California?
LE: Not a whole lot I imagine…
KD: I personally think the janitor would have thrown it away, but that’s just my opinion. Did you ever hang out with Tobey Maguire on set? Do you remember him being there?
LE: Nope
KD: Have you seen the new Wizard DVD? Isn’t it a big disappointment that they cut the ‘fit for tv’ version to make it widescreen? Do you think they’ll ever make a better version? Maybe with an audio commentary with you? That’s what I’m hoping for. If I made a petition for it, would you go along with it?

LE: I haven’t seen it…Producers are too cheap to send me a copy…Don’t you think I should get a free copy? Anyway, yeah, I’d love to do an audio commentary…I’m sure some great stories would come up. They ought to do a commentary with just me and Jenny…That would be fucking hilarious…Fred might be offended.
KD: What are you doing these days? Any projects you’re currently working on?
LE: Done quite a bit since then as The Wizard was one of my first jobs…Lately I’ve been working on writing and shooting my own projects. I have a short in the works called The Ridge Boys which I wrote and produced with a friend of mine…Hopefully it will be available for viewing soon. Just on the Hollywood grind…Auditioning for a lot and working a little. And I tend bars to make ends meet.
KD: Any random memories from filming you could tell us about?
LE: Flash flood warnings in the middle of nowhere, Nevada…
One of the “tough guys” could do a standing front flip…I was unbelievably impressed
Fred’s mom had one of the first cell phones ever…
Hanging out n casinos as a kid…
They used to open up the arcade games for us so you could flip the credit button…unlimited quarters…which of course I didn’t need cause I never died…
Working at Universal on the King Kong ride which might be gone now. They piped in this funky banana smell around the base of the monkey. It was powerfully disgusting…
I had a serious crush on Jenny…If only I were a little older there might have been something there…I do love an alt rock chick.
KD: Were you jealous that Fred Savage and her got to kiss in the movie?? haha
LE: Not really, I knew she was hating it…She also kissed me you know…If only on the cheek…
My Ma could probably remember a lot more cool stuff than I…I mean I was only nine…How much do you remember from age nine?

Next week: Interview with Luke’s mom, Debbie!

Hard Rock Zombies

2009-01-06T09:08:00.000-08:00

Normally I keep this blog (and my fanzine) to bad movies that are still watchable (or better yet, enjoyable). Most are recommendations. However, I still sit through many bad movies I would never recommend. Movies so bad, there’s not a single redeeming quality about them. Some I’m too embarrassed to admit I’ve seen and Hard Rock Zombies is one of those types of movies.
The thing is, I’m actually proud I got through Hard Rock Zombies (even if it was agonizing to watch) because I don’t think many people can say they have. I’m also certain I wouldn’t have got through it if it weren’t for the help of watching it with friends.
Most of my bad movies I screen prior to showing friends. I do this mainly because if I make someone watch a movie like Hard Rock Zombies, chances are they will never want to hang out with me again (let alone watch a movie with me again). I truly hope Hard Rock Zombies hasn’t ruined my friendship with four of my closest friends.
And if it has, well, I have this review to share with you and I have this warning: Beware of Hard Rock Zombies!

This is pretty much the only screen capture I could take from the first 10 minutes of the film. Nudity and midgets should have been our first indication to turn Hard Rock Zombies off. I think we were in too much shock to find the remote.

Here’s the band. Not exactly what I would call “Hard Rock.” More like cheesy, 80’s Pop Rock. The first music video this band does reminds me Journey’s Separate Ways (my favourite 80’s music video). Okay, I’ll admit this part of the movie is “so bad, it’s good” and I’ll probably show it to people in the future…but that’s it!

Aw, young love. Wait! Isn’t he like twice her age? Oh yeah, he is and he even writes a song about it. “I’m so in love, but you’re so young.” Is that suppose to be romantic?

She does have a Jennifer Grey quality to her, but oh man, check out those eyebrows!

Her eyebrows are thicker than his moustache!

This just shows you how stupid the people making this film were. They couldn’t even spell cancelled properly.

Something about this movie is very Degrassi. I’m not talking about the New Generation. I’m talking about the old generation and more specifically, the film that Lucy Fernandez creates in one episode of Degrassi High, called “It Creeps.” Funny, it was the worst episode of Degrassi, much like this is the worst zombie film I’ve ever seen.

Hitler’s wife (seriously, this creature is suppose to be Hitler’s wife), and other Nazi sex perverts turn the band into zombies.

The band actually looks much cooler when they’re zombies, but that’s probably because they look just like Kiss.

This movie was originally made only to be 20 minutes in length, but the creators got little carried away when filming and instead turned it into a 2 hour production. I think it could have easily been cut back down to 20 minutes if they excluded pointless scenes, such as this girl’s interpretive dancing, repetitively shown through the second half of the film.

I know most of the film is completely unbelievable, but what I find most hard to believe is that if Hitler were still alive he would hang out with midgets.

I apologize to all my readers, but more importantly to my friends who watched this film with me. I promise to never subject you to anything this horrible again.
If you thought this recap was my worst, just imagine having to watch this film.
I feel disgusted with myself now. Don’t worry, my next review will definitely be G-rated and something worth watching in all it’s badness (unlike this one). If you see Hard Rock Zombies (the movie, or zombies that look like cheesy, 80’s pop rockers) run for your life!

Deadly Friend Part 2

2009-01-03T14:32:00.003-08:00

Hello again! I know you've been anxiously checking this blog anticipating the continuation of Deadly Friend. I actually had to burn my screen captures on a disc because my laptop is still Internetless, but I did it for you. So we left with Sam (with the brain of BB) seeking revenge.

Next in line is Sloth's mom. If Sam's not going to kill her for stealing their basketball, she should kill her for locking up her deformed son in a basement....without any Baby Ruth's.

Death by basketball. Who knew a basketball in the head could do this much damage? Dodge ball should be illegal.

Then Mr. BBQ Pringle shows up under the covers of Paul's bed to give Paul a BB BJ?

Incase we hadn't figured out that Sam is really just being controlled by the mind of BB, we start seeing shots of "BB-vision" and hear the retarded Ewok voice, like in this scene where Sam screams "BB!!!!"

Then Sam goes all gangsta and charges at a cop, who shoots her. (By the way, I've already decided that I'm going to be BB Sam for Halloween. I've started growing my hair long for October 2009.)

Immediately after she's shot dead, everyone just turns their back and walks away. "Cop just shot a girl dead. Yeah...whatever." Obviously a regular occurance.

Paul decides to break into the morgue. Dude, didn't you learn your lesson not to bring your friends back to life?! This movie has some of the best special effects I've ever seen in a horror movie.

Sam's skin rips to reveal a more evil looking BB, leaving the story open for a sequel.....which we never received. I've decided I'm going to make my life dedicated to getting sequels made for movies that just should have had sequels and never did. Mac and Me, Troll 2 and now Deadly Friend.

Deadly Friend Part 1

2009-01-01T20:03:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Before I start my recap of Deadly Friend, I want to just say how pleased I am with 2008. Although I feel like nothing too eventful happened this year in my life, I will always remember it as the year I started this blog and my fanzine. It was an idea I had in my mind for quite some time, but I actually decided to go for it in 2008. I'm glad I did because it resulted in the discovery of many more "so bad it's good" movies, new friends and fun times. I'm excited for this to continue in 2009.

I celebrated New Year's Eve the best way - with bad movies and good friends. My friends Shaun and Leslie gave me the movie Deadly Friend for Christmas, which I had never even heard of, so I thought it'd be fun to watch with the friends who introduced me to it. Shaun told me he remembers his parents renting it with their friends when it came out (in 1986), but he wasn't allowed to watch it. Years later, he remembered this movie and realized that he's probably old enough to watch it now, so him and his wife rented it and immediately thought of me because of it's so bad it's goodness. How thoughtful!!

Deadly Friend is a Wes Craven horror movie aimed to be like a modern Frankenstein. A boy genius, Paul, creates a robot, BB. I must quote Shaun in describing BB as "a retarded Ewok" because that's the best description (we watched the movie with subtitles to understand what BB was trying to say). BB has a bit of Gremlin in him as well. He'll crush the balls of any dirt bike gang that gets in Paul's way. The true evilness of BB becomes evident when Paul transplants BB's brain into the head of his dead neighbour/girlfriend, Sam.

Anyway, I find it better to show badness with screen captures, so here its goes:

The movie opens with BB, Paul and Paul's mom in a mini-van, trying to find their new home (just like in Mac and Me!). This leads you to wonder why Paul created BB when he could have created a GPS, or a BBS? The only way this movie could be worse, is if they put the entire movie in "BB-vision", which is the slightly fuzzy screen you see in this picture.

Paul and BB arrive at their new house and meet Tom, the paper boy. Paul introduces Tom to BB and Tom gets so excited, he yells "HEY!", like he wants to introduce people to this amazing, robot made from a breadbox (seriously, his chest is a breadbox). Awesome awkwardness!

Then Paul and BB meet the nextdoor neighbour, Samantha Pringle (the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer). There's automatic chemistry between the two (Paul and Sam I'm talking about), but Sam can't hang out with Paul because she has an abusive father.

Paul is curious about Sam and thinks the guy who would know best about girls in town is the paper boy (obviously!). The conversation between the two boys goes something like this:

Paul: "What do you do when you're done your paper route? Do you have a girlfriend or something?"
Tom: "Oh no, girls around here are kinda, stuck-up."

Paul: "Hey, what do you know about the people who live next door to me?"

Tom: "Sam? Great tits."

Paul: "You're telling me."

Geeez boys! She's only like a B-cup....or size BB!!

Paul, Tom, Sam and BB become bestfriends (rather odd that a college kid is hanging out with some 15 year olds and a robot). The four decide to go out and cause mischief on Halloween night. Sam dresses as something, which looks an awful lot like Jesus, (rather prophetic considering she's going to die and rise from the dead. Oops, did I spoil things)?

The kids ring on the doorbell of Elvira Parker (the old lady from the Goonies and a grouchy woman who stole their basketball). She comes out with her gun and kills BB, giving a whole new definition to BB gun.

Best agonizing acting I've seen since Eric died in Mac and Me.

Now is it any coincidence that Sam dies right after BB? Hmm. Anyway, Sam's abusive father pushes her down a flight of stairs, knocking her head and making her brain dead. Obviously, you bleed from the mouth when you hit the back of the head.

Unlike Terri Schiavo, Sam doesn't have any asshole celebrities trying to keep her alive. Only Paul and Tom want to (and probably only because she has "great tits"). Paul slips some roofies into his mom's coffee so he can sneak out of the house to save brain dead Sam.

Paul steals Sam's dead body from the set of E.R. (literally, same set as the TV show) and performs brain surgery, giving Sam the brain of BB. That simple.

Sam comes back to life, with her hands permanently throwing gang signs. She seeks revenge on her father by throwing him in a fire, making him a BBQ Pringle. Get it? Their last name is Pringle and Pringles are chips and BBQ is a flavour? Anyway...

...Sorry, I have to do this recap in two parts. The Internet in my bedroom went down and I can't do screen captures on the computer in my basement (Uh, does anyone know what to do when your computer stops connecting to the Internet, yet has 80% connectivity?), so I'll have to finish the recap later.

The Ultimate Bad Movie Christmas Break

2008-12-26T17:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays! I hope yours has been going as wonderfully as mine presently is. I opened all my presents (clothes or gift certicates for clothes), but then I had one very large, heavy gift left to open. This one came from Erin and Nuno, who I can always trust as excellent gift-givers. What did they give me? Oh, just 30 "so bad they're good" movies on VHS!

Turns out a video store was going out of business near their house, so one afternoon they spent 3 hours raiding their enormous stash of VHS, narrowing it down to 30. The 30 are as follows:

Elves, Prayer of the Rollerboys, Wait Till Your Mother Gets Home, Full Eclipse, Wild Thing, Earth Girls are Easy, The Shrimp on the Barbie, The Stepfather, The Stepfather 2, Two of a Kind, Vibrations, Airborne, Back to Back, Grandma's House, Warlock, Surf Ninjas, Cave Dwellers, Contagion, Tons of Trouble, Remote, Night Breed, Cherry 2000, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Heart Condition, The Paper Boy, C.H.U.D. II, Rude Awakening, Man's Best Friend, Lurkers and The Raven.

Then, I went boxing day shopping and bought The Black Scorpion, Ghost Ninja and Primitives on DVD. My brother-in-law also went boxing day shopping and bought me Nosferatu, Dead Men Walking, Chain of Souls, Revolt of the Zombies, Night of the Living Dead, Hard Rock Zombies, King of Kong Island, White Pongo and Bride of the Gorilla. Thanks Nuno!

Oh, and I can't forget that my friends Shaun and Leslie made me a copy of Deadly Friend as part of my Christmas gift. Thanks as well guys!

I never expected to receive any movies for Christmas, so to receive over 40 movies is completely overwhelming me right now. I don't know where to start (other than with Elves because it's Christmas themed).

If any of you reading have seen any of these movies, please comment and let me know your thoughts. If you check out the IMDB links I provided, you'll see that barely any of them hit the 5 star mark. So much terrible potential and so much movie viewing. I best go get started!

Santa Claus...vs. Satan in Mexico!

2008-12-24T14:11:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus has become a Christmas Classic for me (along side The ALF Christmas special, Christmas Eve on Sesame Street and Pee-Wee's Christmas special), though I have only owned this movie for the past two years.
I discovered it on DVD at K-Mart for $1.99 and I still refer to it as "the best $1.99 I've ever spent." I love this one so much, I watch it year round, but at least a dozen times in the month of December. Last Christmas, I was dating a guy who refused to watch it (he was super Catholic and thought having the devil in a movie about Christmas was sacrilegious), which was an obvious sign to dump him...which I did, of course.
This year, nothing held me back from my repeated viewings of Santa Claus. As previously mentioned, I had a party to introduce my friends to this wonderfully, horrible, Christmas disasterpiece (pictures of the party can be viewed here).
For those of you who read this blog and couldn't make it to my party, I thought I'd do a little recap of the movie to show you what you missed.

Santa Claus, a K. Gordon Murray production. I don't know what North America would have shown in theatres if K. Gordon Murray did not bring this film up from Mexico and distribute into kiddie matinees (certainly nothing this terrible/wonderful). Thank you K. Gordon Murray!!

Welcome to Toyland. This is like Santa's own Noah's Ark, except instead of two of every species, we have two or three children from every country, working (as slaves?) to build toys for the children down on earth.

The movie opens with Santa sensually playing his organ, to the children in his workshop, while they sing. Basically, it just shows a bunch of stereotypes from around the world and the scene lasts forever.

I couldn't help but get more than one screen capture of Santa playing his organ and becoming sexually aroused while voyeuristically watching the children dance and sing. Ew!!

Then we're introduced to Pitch, the devil's chief demon. Pitch flamboyantly dances in many different scenes and wears black fuzzy slippers (like the ones your Grandma used to wear).

Pitch is sent down to earth by the devil to ruin Christmas. He starts by snapping his fingers and burning this newspaper.

The scene cuts to a different newspaper, in a different language. Totally confused!!

Santa can be informed of Pitch's evil doings by some contraptions he's created, like this lip reporter. Oh, did I forget to mention? Santa doesn't even live at the North Pole. He lives in outerspace. I guess he gets a better view of the earth from there?

Pitch decides to target Lupita, a poor, little, Mexican girl (aw, she's really adorable, even if she repeats her lines too many times). All she wants is a doll, so Pitch tries to convince her to steal one from the market. Lupita's strong will and good sense tells her not to.

Since little Lupita didn't steal the doll, Pitch gives her a nightmare that scares even me (at the age of 26). I can't imagine the nightmares this scene gave children who saw it in the theatre in the 50's.

"Lupita. Why don't you steal?"

"No. I know that stealing is bad and I want to be good."

"But you must learn to steal!"

"No. You know stealing is bad and I want to be good."

Repeat x 20. Seriously, this creepy scene lasts forever and is so repetitive!

Here's Santa's drug dealer, Merlin the Magician. Merlin gives him some powder (sniff, sniff) and a flower (sprinkle, sprinkle). Oops, I got that reversed. This is a strange scene that talks about the fifth dimension and Santa and Merlin's old man memories.

Like I said, Santa lives in outerspace, so he takes his mechanical reindeer from his cloud castle to earth and narrowly misses a collision with the moon. Seriously, I'm not even making this up.

Santa and Satan, I mean Pitch, finally have a showdown on earth, which I'm completely convinced inspired the movie, Home Alone.

Lupita finally gets her doll. Was it from Santa? Or was it from her father who went out to "find work" on Christmas eve. Who hires new employees on Christmas eve? No wonder her father can't find any work.

So, that concludes my recap of Santa Claus. Time for me to go wrap some presents and watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (I always avoided that movie because I thought it was totally overrated as a "so bad it's good" Christmas movie, but so far it actually lives up to the hype!) Like they say in Mexico...

So Bad It's Good Movies Fanzine #2 Writers

2008-12-18T18:53:00.001-08:00

Is it noticeable I’m on Christmas vacation yet? Because I am, which means more bad movie watching and more frequent and lengthier blog updates here.
While I’m on this break, I thought it might be a wise use of my time to start work on the second issue of the “So Bad It’s Good” Movie Fanzine.
This is where I need your help. If you’re reading this, I can assume you have an interest in “so bad it’s good” movies and maybe you’re a writer too?
I’m looking for contributions for the next issue of my fanzine. I’ve only published one issue and I did it entirely by myself (aside from the cover and one review). This time around, I’m looking for some help. I’m looking for good writers with a love for good, bad movies to contribute articles and/or reviews.
What I’d like:
- Writing with humour and personality. If you have a silly story to go along with how you discovered this movie, why not share?
- Bad movies from any genre or decade. I have no limitations for that. Even if the movie is super obscure, I’ll be happy to include it.
- Movies unaware of their badness, or that aim to be great and fail completely. Good examples: Mac and Me, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Ed Wood films.
What I do not want:
- Writing with excessive swearing. Please be a little more creative with your words.
- Movies which are purposely bad or aware of their badness. Examples: the Leprechaun series or Snakes on a Plane.
- Porn or dirties movies! I know, I sound like a prude.
- Pretentiousness.
For the next issue, the general theme is going to be the best bad movie monsters, mutants, aliens and creatures. The publication date is probably going to be around the end of March, but the sooner you send your work, the better.
Don’t feel limited to writing just about a movie. If you’d like to write about a bad movie director or actor, or about a certain country that produces many bad films, that would be great. You could write about rip-off movies or compare and contrast two terrible films. The options are endless and the more creative, the better.
I’d recommend contacting me about what you wish to write before you get writing. I don’t want to have multiple articles or reviews on the same movies.
If you know anyone who would be interested in writing for “So Bad It’s Good” Movie Fanzine, feel free to spread the word by giving them this link. And if you're interested, you can contact me: mimi.merlot at gmail dot com (I wrote it that way to avoid spam, hopefully you can figure that out).
Thanks!!

Look At Me, I Look Like Sandra Dee!

2008-12-18T17:29:00.000-08:00

I grew up as a good girl. In high school I was squeaky clean, but when university hit, I decided to be rebellious. By rebellious, I mean stealing a poster from the Toronto Transit Commission one night after a concert at the Horseshoe.
The TTC was changing their subway lines, resulting in a change of TTC subway maps. I felt the urge to steal one of these subway maps to keep a little piece of Toronto history to hang in the living room of my U of T residence.
Unfortunately, I was caught. I was escorted off the subway by some TTC cops and lead into an office for a little scare. They took my license and wrote down information, as I remained completely silent, terrified of what was going to happen to me. Nothing did. The cop in charge handed me my ID and said, “You look like Sandra Dee. How could I possibly get Sandra Dee in trouble?”
“You mean Olivia Newton John from Grease?” I hate the movie Grease (as mentioned in the first issues of my fanzine), but I wasn’t going to argue the guy because he was letting me go.
“No, no. Sandra Dee! You look like the actress Sandra Dee!”
I thought the guy was totally out of his mind because Sandra Dee was obviously just a character, not an actress.
Little did I know, Sandra Dee was an actress. I was actually told on a few different occasions that I resembled her by other people as well and STILL I thought people were talking about Olivia Newton John.
Well, just a couple weeks ago I was watching the Drive-In Classics channel and I saw the movie, Gidget…starring Sandra Dee. Finally, I clued in that there is an actress named Sandra Dee and wow! She’s a total babe!
If only I knew people were talking about her and not Olivia Newton John, I would have been so flattered. Not just because she’s cute but because she’s in such a “so bad it’s good” movie. Gidget is a total cheese, teenage, surfer movie, yet very watchable and enjoyable. How fitting is it that I resembled a “so bad it’s good” actress? Well, I'm probably not that cute anymore, but maybe I once was?

It's a Wonderful Squirrel

2008-12-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

There are many bad movies out there that try to cash in on Christmas and The Great Rupert is definitely one of them.
I feel like I was deceived when I purchased this DVD because the case lead me to believe it was a Christmas film about a dancing squirrel. This movie does have a squirrel that dances (for all of 20 seconds and then becomes a minor character) and I guess Christmas does take place during the film (but so do all of the other seasons of the year).
As much as I want to feel ripped off for purchasing this movie (for $1.99 at K-Mart, no less), I’m rather pleased by it, only because of its badness.
First of all, a stop-motion animated squirrel in a Scottish kilt that dances for 20 seconds is worth $1.99. But then you have this crazy, immoral story involving a poor circus family. The Amendola’s move into an apartment, intentionally attempting to rip-off their landlord, Mr. Dingle. This is the same apartment that Rupert the squirrel lived in, prior to his owner moving out due to being unable to pay rent (it’s tough trying to make money off of a dancing squirrel).

Mr. Dingle starts storing his cash, $1500 a week (keep in mind, this was the late 1940’s), in a hole in the wall of his house. Rupert takes the money and throws it down to the Amendola family, living below. Mr. Amendola (played by Jimmy Durante) convinces his family this is a gift from the heavens, so they go out and blow the money on unnecessary crap, like a polar bear rug that functions as a radio.

When the FBI starts to question Mr. Amendola about where he’s receiving this money, he is unable to explain, so Rupert comes to the rescue and burns down the house! Yes, this little shit squirrel actually burns down the house. This is a great solution to their problems, especially considering neither families have insurance.

One of my favourite scenes is when the house is burning down. The daughter, Rosalinda runs out with the polar bear radio rug and Mr. Amendola yells, “Hurry up! We’re gonna miss the Jimmy Durante show.” This is the first (and only) time I’ve ever heard a character in a movie refer to their real life actor-self. An intentional joke in this movie actually made me laugh.

I’ve noticed The Great Rupert has a common theme through out; you can be a liar, cheater, deceiver, fraudster and good things will happen to you. Yes, who needs morals when you’ve got the Great Rupert?

Sorry my images for this movie are kinda crappy. Like I said, I only paid $1.99 for this DVD.

R.I.P. F.J.A

2008-12-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

The ultimate fan boy passed away last Thursday, at the age of 92. Forrest J. Ackerman was an enormous fan of science fiction and a memorabilia collector. His influence on the genre was brought through from his fanzine, Famous Monsters of Filmland. Forry was also famous for coining the term "sci-fi".

It's one of my biggest regrets that I never visited the Ackermansion on one of my trips out to California. However, Monster Movie Music blog did an excellent post on their trip to the Ackermansion, which you should check out.

This man is a true inspiration to those of us who take our love of strange cinema so seriously!

Christmas In Mexico

2008-12-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited to host my sister's 30th birthday party in a couple weeks. I asked her if she wanted to have a "Mexican Christmas" theme and she agreed that would make a great theme party because she loves Mexican food and drinks. Plus, it means we get to have a pinata filled with candy canes and other Christmas treats.

But I'm sure anyone who is a K. Gordon Murray fan can probably guess why I picked this theme. I will have the opportunity to play Santa Claus infront of 40 of our friends! Yeah, I know, it's like I have an ulterior motive for this party (especially considering I was the one who suggested this theme).
I just know if I had a movie theme party for Santa Claus, barely anyone would show up. However, if I disguise it with other reasons to come and "randomly" decide to play Santa Claus when everyone is there, people will watch it and love it. I mean, once you actually give this creepy kiddie Christmas classic a chance, how can you not love this movie?!

p.s. Don't think I'm a bad sister. Erin knew why I suggested this theme from the very start!

Monster Movie Pairing

2008-12-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

I work at a winery and we're having our Christmas party on Thursday. Each of us has to bring a bottle of wine of our choice to the party. This sort of thing makes me a little nervous because I work with lots of wine snobs and I'm more of a cork dork. I decided to stop by a specialty liquor store in New York, on my way home from school to find something different (not found in the LCBO). That's when I found The Big Red Monster. This is like the ultimate bad movie wine! I know I'll probably get teased for bringing a bottle with a label like this, but come on, monster movie wine! What a great pairing! Yeah, some people like to pair wine with their food, but why not pair wine with movies? I think I'd pair this wine with Frankenstein Meet the Space Monster.

The Brainiac

2008-11-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

I was so thrilled to see the Brainiac, another K. Gordon Murray production. El Barón del terror is a Mexican horror movie, with yet another hilarious monsterous creature. The Baron was funny to me, but quite terrifying to my sister. Either terrifying or hilarious, the Baron made me decide I need to make the main feature of the next issue of my zine about the best monsters/mutants/aliens/creatures from so bad they're good movies. Maybe a top 50? Or 100? There are so many and I know I have even more of them to discover. This could be a zine onto itself!
Anyway, Christmas is coming and I could easily make a dream list of movies for my Christmas wishlist, but I'll make things much more simple. All I really want for Christmas is El Baron:

Can you believe someone made a figurine of him? I want to write to this company and tell them they need to produce a figurine of Mac from Mac and Me. I've been dreaming of Mac merchandise for years now.

The Story of Menstruation

2008-11-20T17:55:00.001-08:00

I try to avoid posting too many youtube links, but this one I just couldn't resist. In 1946, Disney collaborated with Kotex and made an educational film to teach preteen girls about the mystery of menstruation. Yes, I really love this film. I know there are people out there who criticize the fact that they don't explain how that egg gets fertilized and won't say the word "sex", but I think they do a decent job. With a cute cartoon like this, how can a girl be freaked out she's gonna bleed every month for the next thirty years of her life?

Anyway, here's the link!

Not-So-Scary Spiders

2008-11-18T17:41:00.001-08:00

It's time to acknowledge my extreme case of arachnophobia. Without a doubt, spiders are my worst fear in life. You probably would find it surprising that some of my favourite scenes in my favourite bad films involve spiders. Maybe I love these scenes so much because they're the only spiders that can't scare me?

#1 - Queen of Outerspace

Actually, I'm not 100% sure if this is suppose to be a spider. It's possibly just an insect, or a pinata? Whatever it is, it cracks me up when it's literally pushed out of a hole in a cave and onto an actor. While most people would watch this movie for Zsa Zsa Gabor and the leggy women in short skirts, I watch the movie for this spider. It's definitely my favourite part of the movie, even if it lasts less than 10 seconds.

#2 - Horrors of Spider Island

This cartoony looking spider is what turns Gary into that wolfy looking man in my banner above. This spider is actually kinda cute. He falls from a tree at one point (for no apparent reason), and then exerts way too much energy to climb back up the tree to bite Gary. I've always been confused at the part where the spider bites Gary because it looks as though Gary isn't trying to pull the spider's crab-like legs off his neck, but instead trying to keep the spider on. My guess is that they couldn't find a way of having someone control the puppet at this point.

#3 - Bloody Pit of Horror

Perhaps it isn't fair that I include this into my favourite spider scenes because I haven't seen the whole movie. I'm sure one day I'll get a copy of it, watch the entire movie and this scene will probably remain my favourite. You can see this scene on youtube and the spider kinda looks like a pile of poop with dangly legs, held by a string. Okay, I'll admit that his monkfish face is kinda scary.

Anyone have any other bad movie spider scene recommendations?

Movie Monsters

2008-11-12T07:31:00.000-08:00

I love old movie monsters. Two of my favourites are on the banner above; the phantom from the Phantom Planet (bottom-center) and Gary turned spider from Horrors of Spider Island (bottom-right corner). But I have a new favourite movie monster!!

It's the mutant from Day the World Ended. Erin and Nuno started taping Off Beat Cinema for me on Saturday nights (I'm usually asleep when it airs and can't figure out to program my VCR). So, every week I go to their house to watch whatever Off Beat Cinema has aired. Last Saturday they aired the Roger Corman classic, Day the World Ended.

Besides being absolutely hilarious looking, this mutant reminds me of something from my childhood. The bosses at the end of each level in the Adventure Island video games for Nintendo.

Unwed BAG

2008-11-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

As mentioned last summer, I stumbled upon the TV movie, Unwed Father, starring Brian Austin Green. I decided to save the review for my zine. When I sold the zine at Canzine, I set up a small display of some of the movies I featured in the zine and for some reason, everyone was drawn to Unwed Father. People actually thought the movie didn't exist, like I just made the cover myself. Gosh, I wish I could take credit for this hilariously horrible movie.
Anyway, Brian Austin Green is totally going to be the next hip has-been in Hollywood (that's my prediction anyway). You know how Neil Patrick Harris has suddenly made a cool comeback? Everyone is calling him NPH these days. Well, Brian Austin Green is gonna make a cool comeback too and everyone is going to call him BAG. So, for this screen captured, Unwed Father recap, we will refer to Brian Austin Green by his new name, BAG.

BAG plays college kid, Jason. He's home for the summer and playing in his rock band (I would have prefered to see BAG rap, like in his 90210 days). He meets Melanie (the oldest daughter from The Nanny) and the two of them get it on. But before I show you that, I need to show you this...

Mark Mothersbaugh of DEVO does the music for this TV movie? You mean all those lame songs BAG's band plays are by Mark Mothersbaugh? He couldn't have possibly been that desperate in the 90's. Seriously, what was Mark thinking?

So yeah, BAG knocks up this hoBAG on a yacht after 10 minutes of knowing each other.

EW! They could have at least covered themselves up with a sleeping BAG!!

This "one night stand, leads to a life time of consequences." Suddenly their "mistake" (a.k.a. baby) becomes the most HATED thing in the world. The parent's don't want him and the Grandparent's HATE him. Geesh, it's a BABY! An innocent baby. Why is everyone filled with such hatred?

Maybe it's because this baby looks like a freak? Well, the freak baby is dropped off on BAG's doorstep (aw, like Alvin and the Chipmunks!!), so Melanie can go follow her dream, of making ugly art.

At least the baby momma left BAG with plenty of diaper BAGS. Note, the disapproving father in the background. Most hated baby in the world!!

As if this innocent baby's life can't get any worse, BAG screams at the baby to "SHUT UP!!!" I had to play this scene at least six times, just to make sure he was screaming at a doll and not a real baby.

While BAG is screaming at the baby, Melanie is drawing the most ugly art of babies. Which is more freaky, this picture or her baby?

And BAG finally accepts his freak baby and the fact that he's a father....an UNWED father.

Visually Appealing, Low Budget Movie Set #1 - A Journey to the Center of Time

2008-11-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes low budget, sci-fi films from the 50's and 60's are difficult to get through. So much nonsensical space jargon and ridiculous plots, that you can hardly follow. However, some of these movies have the most stunning sets. I'll confess, sometimes the sets and look of a film is what keeps me watching. This was the case last night when I watched A Journey to the Center of Time.

The set is bright orange, which makes everything else on screen look dull in comparison. In the future, we might still have black and white screens, but all doors will slide open and close and we'll replace stairs with mini-elevators.

That rainbow thing beside the "REACTOR" served no purpose, but I think it's quite pretty. That's probably why they snuck it in as many shots as possible.

The only reason I'm showing you this image is to prove that this film has more than one set. Though, that same orange room takes up the majority of the film. I have to admit, I kind of like the minimalist approach to this film. Sure, it was done this way because they didn't have a budget. To me, the set seems to be the redeeming quality. The story is completely ridiculous (but somewhat entertaining for that reason) and you've gotta love when a camera just spins around the set to create time travel. Delightfully cheesy!

As a side note: I have figured out how to make screen captures on my computer, so I think I'll make great low budget movie sets a regular feature in my blog. Queen of Outer Space and Planet of the Vampires will probably be next.

Some Minor Changes

2008-11-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

My new banner kind of scares me. So many freakish figures from my favourite movies. Thanks for making it Erin and Nuno!!

Also, note that I added some of my favourite links. Check 'em out!

Ordering Online

2008-11-02T17:03:00.000-08:00

I've recently developed an addiction to ordering stuff online. More specifically: children's books and strange movies. I love it because I can find everything I want online, which I guess kind of lessens the thrill of finding an obscure VHS at That's Entertainment or awesome classroom find at the Book Depot. But it certainly is a thrill to get a package in the mail and when you've order so much stuff, you're still totally surprised when you open it. Could it be a 50's classroom scare film or one of my many books about dinosaurs?

Anyway, tonight I order 4 films from my recommended list made at Canzine. I ordered:

- The Apple

- Wild Guitar

- Hobgoblins

- Robot Monster

Those looked the most promising to me. I can't wait to get them...so you can expect reviews of those movies coming shortly.

If you're interested in ordering obscure, strange or bad movies, outside of Ebay or Amazon, I have a few sites I'd recommend:

Brutallo - http://www.brutallo.com/

Something Weird Video - http://www.somethingweird.com/

Five Minutes to Live - http://5mtl.com/ (actually, I haven't ordered from this site yet, but it was recommended to me).

Brutallo is my favourite. If I won a million dollars tomorrow, the first thing I'd do is order everything on that site.

Hot Off The Press

2008-10-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm back! The reason for this hiatus was my focus on the zine. All my bad movie writing has been going there over the past two months. So now, for the low price of $2 you can have an awesome print edition of So Bad It's Good Movies, with far more reviews than this blog currently has. I'm very pleased with how it turned out and encourage everyone to get a copy!

My bad movie bud and totally amazing comic artist, Blair Sterrett made my cover over his morning breakfast on Saturday. His talent amazes me. When he went to Kinkos to scan the cover and send it my way, he ran into Gary Coleman!! I think that was a sign that my bad movie zine is going to be very successful. Not because Gary Coleman is a very successful actor, but because he's been in some so bad it's good TV movies (one which is even reviewed in my zine)!!

And so far, it has been quite successful. I sold somewhere around 25-30 copies at Canzine yesterday. I received a great response from people too. We asked many who bought the zine, what their favourite "so bad it's good" movie is and I made a list of movies I need to check out. Here's what I got:

- Hobgoblins
- The Apple

- Night Breed

- The Breed
- Mr. Bones

- Nigerian movies are usually bad

- Wild Guitar

- Robot Monster

- Speed 2

- The Hunter from the Future

- Things

Thanks for all the suggestions!

I couldn't have asked for a better Canzine experience. I sat by some very friendly comic artists and zinesters. I also met a man who puts out a very rad zine, The Eclectic Screening Room. That was definitely my favourite zine discovery of Canzine. I recommend you check out his website and order some issues of his zine as well.

But order mine first (haha). Just email me: mimi period merlot at gmail dot com. Now hopefully I'll get back to making some more regular posts here.

K. Gordon Murray Documentary in the Works

2008-08-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

I have exciting news!! Actually, I have a few different exciting announcements to make. I'll start with the announcement that...this blog is becoming a fanzine!! Yep, I've decided to make a printed version of my blog, but it'll be different. Different material, more little reviews (to be like a guide for bad movies), more stories and even an interview. With who?

Well, let me first tell you the other exciting news. I was doing some research on K. Gordon Murray. K. Gordon Murray was an American producer, who took films from Mexico and Europe, re-dubbed them and released them into theatres for US audiences. Between the late 50's and mid 70's, he released 30 horror movies, over 20 children's fairy tales and over a dozen exploitation films for adult-audiences. His legacy in the world of bad movies is overwhelming. He released one of my all-time favourite movies, Santa Claus. This 1959, Mexican movie has Satan's chief demon, Pitch turn the children of the world against Santa to ruin Christmas.

In my research on K. Gordon Murray, I found there's a documentary currently being made about this life! Check out the trailer for The Wonderful World of K. Gordon Murray. It'll be released this winter. I'm very excited about this! I contacted the director, Daniel Griffith, and will be interviewing him for the fanzine. While making this movie, so much K. Gordon Murray information has been discovered that would amaze you even if you've never seen a single one of his films. His life is just fascinating and definitely documentary-worthy. I can't wait!

As for a release date on my fanzine? No set date, but I plan to have it finished before October 26th, so I can sell it at Canzine.

Big Mac and Me Party

2008-08-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Since last week was the 20th anniversary of the release of Mac and Me, I quickly threw together a party to celebrate the event this weekend.

We had all the elements needed for a Mac and Me party. McDonalds, Coca-cola and Skittles. This was the first time I ever ate a Big Mac! It's all for you Mac!

I watched the movie in a wheelchair, to be feel like Eric. E.T. sat with me to feel like Mac.

I don't understand why Ronald McDonald had to memorize his lines in the trailer. I mean, all he says is a sarcastic remark about Eric's bear. Note our wall bubbles in the second picture.

Mac cake!

This was our thought on the movie when it was over. Maybe I should have had a Bernie Mac and Me party instead?

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

2008-08-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was going to save my review of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny closer to the Christmas season, but I was doing some research on the director of this film and I can’t contain my excitement for his strangeness.

Before I explain anything about Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, I should tell you the “I swear I’m not making this up” history of the director, Barry Mahon. Mahon was a World War II flying ace and worked on the Stalag Luft III tunnels, made famous in the movie The Great Escape. You know Steve McQueen’s character from The Great Escape? Well, he was based on Barry Mahon. Then, in the 1960’s, Mahon started to direct and produce pornos…and lots of them! Titles like, Fanny Hill meets Dr. Erotico, Naughty Nudes, Sex Club International, etc. Then came the 1970’s and Mahon decided to instead work on children’s films. Yikes! And that’s where Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny comes into the picture.

Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny was a kiddie matinee movie from 1972. I discovered it 5 years ago on one of my first trips to That’s Entertainment (local video store that has the best selection of VHS). This was around the time I started to collect bad, VHS movies I thought would never make it to DVD. When I brought this rarity home, my new puppy chewed up the case. Luckily the movie was indestructible.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny was like nothing I had ever seen before. The best way for me to describe it, in bad movie terms, is to say it’s the equivalent to Manos: The Hands of Fate, but in children’s film. Very slow, poorly dubbed, terrible quality. It’s pretty much impossible to get through. And I’ll admit, I still have yet to watch the entire thing. The problem is mainly that Mahon wanted to stick one of his other kiddie matinee creations, Thumbelina, in the middle of the movie. There are also parts of Mahon’s (never finished), Tom Sawyer movie injected in Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Now, the great thing about having Tom Sawyer sloppily thrown in there is you’ll see Tom Sawyer get attacked by a raccoon!

There’s only one part I would recommend watching in Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (because I understand, it’s impossible to sit and watch the whole thing). The part where the Ice Cream Bunny finally arrives on an antique fire engine to rescue Santa, who's sleigh is stuck in the sand. Here is a youtube clip to see what I'm talking about. Even those 10 minutes of the movie are painful, so just skip to 5:32 on that youtube clip and you'll see some of Mahon's cinematic brilliance. I wonder if he ever used that perspective in any of his pornos?

Happy 20th Birthday Mac!!

2008-08-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

I randomly realized that tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the release of Mac and Me. I've been planning to throw a Mac and Me party for a few weeks now, so I'm a little disappointed this anniversary snuck up so suddenly. I would have liked to have my party on the day of it's anniversary. Looks like I'll just have to celebrate it a little late.

My party plan is to have friends over to watch Mac and Me. We'll eat McDonald's and Skittles and drink Coca-Cola. When the movie is over, we'll head to McDonald's and do some breakdancing outside. I'm looking for the songs used in the dancing scene, so I can blast if from a ghetto blaster outside in the parking lot. Does anyone know where I'd find a Mac and Me soundtrack? I know it exists! If I don't have the whole soundtrack, I would at least like the songs: Send Out a Signal by Larry Hart and Gotta Get My Feet Back on the Ground by Brock Walsh.

I would like a bear costume as well, but that's not as much of a necessity as Mac and Me music.

Recently, I found this girl on flickr and I'm convinced if we knew one another in real life, we'd be best friends. She loves baking cakes and bad movies. This is her Mac and Me cake. I'm definitely going to have to make one for my party.

I'll be back!

2008-07-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

Hello to my two (is it up to three now?) readers. I just thought I'd let you know that I haven't abandoned my blog. I have a week and a half of my school term left, so things are intense. No time for bad movie watching, let alone bad movie writing.

I'm pretty pumped to get two weeks off, so I'll be back with plenty more posts soon. I'm hoping to even spruce up the design of this blog. My sister and brother-in-law promised me they'd help me make a banner. Yay!

Okay, back to my studies. See you in two weeks time.

A Salute to Incompetence

2008-07-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Browsing my favourite video store last night, I found The Ed Wood Collection - A Salute To Incompetence. I've been trying to build a collection of Ed Wood movies for the past year and sadly, all I've got is Plan 9 from Outer Space and Glen or Glenda (only a VHS copy). This is awesome!! Six so-bad-they're-good movies in one set for $8.99 on Amazon.com. Life is good! Expect many Ed Wood movie reviews to be coming soon.

Teen Dad Double Feature

2008-07-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started school in the states, I've found I'm spending way more money. This isn't just because of textbooks and school related stuff. I'm talking about my after school trips to Target, Big K and all those crazy stores we don't have in Canada.

On today's shopping trip I found Unwed Father, a TV movie starring Brian Austin Green (David from 90210). Brian Austin Green is a big joke to me, mostly because of his early 90's dancing and rapping. He's almost as lame as Corey Haim in his Me, Myself and I phase.

Unwed Father also came as a double feature with the 1987 TV movie, Daddy. I can't believe it - a teen dad TV movie double feature! The only thing stopping me from purchasing this $6 set, was the fact that I had completely surpassed the amount I could bring back to Canada. It'll have to wait till next week.

Did anyone see these movies in high school health class, or on TV when they originally aired? Any thoughts?

"Caaaliforrrnia"

2008-07-02T14:30:00.001-07:00

I decided to keep with the theme of The Wizard. If you thought I was exaggerating my obsession for this film, here are my pictures from my trip to Cabazon, California. I needed to fulfill my dream of leaving a yellow lunch pail behind, just like Jimmy Woods.

"Caaaliforrrnia, Caaaliforrrnia!"

"I always wondered what he kept in there."

"I guess you just wanted to leave her in a place where she was happy." "I guess he just wanted to say goodbye."

As you can see, the inside of the Apatosaurus has changed quite a bit since 1989. The guy working inside almost didn't let me climb up there because of health and safety reasons. I was like, "Man, I came from Ontario just to do this!" and he allowed me. Then he called his boss down from his office (in the head of the dinosaur!) to take a look at the lunch pail and the boss freaked out. Apparently no one has ever left a yellow lunch pail there before...I mean, other than Jimmy Woods.

The owner took us outside for a Woods family photo. And best of all, the owner was sooo impressed with my Wizard fandom, he let me do something most normal visitors don't get to do...

Go to the top of the T-Rex, just like Pee-Wee Herman in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure! Clearly from this picture, you can tell this was the happiest day of my life.

My First Bad Movie Favourite

2008-07-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Troll 2 is obviously my most favourite bad movie, but I will always hold a special place in my heart for The Wizard because it's the movie I consider to have developed my love for bad movies today.

When The Wizard was first released, in 1989, I thought it was the coolest movie ever. Years later, when I taped it off TV, I found it wasn't nearly as cool as I remembered it to be. That didn't stop me from watching it every day that summer with my cousins in the basement of our grandparent's house. We made a joke for pretty much every line in the movie and even started to write a script for a Wizard parody (which unfortunately was never made).

My cousins got over our Wizard obsession after that summer. I never did. My obsession with this terrible movie only grew to the point where I tracked down actor Luke Edwards, who played Jimmy Woods, to interview for the (now defunct) 80's Blog. I even traveled to the dinosaurs in Cabazon, California, just to leave a yellow lunch pail behind.

Anyway, when I was in elementary school, the evening of the last day of school always had the movie, Meatballs on TV. It was the signal of the start of summer. This year, the evening of the last day of school, The Wizard aired on TV. You don't understand how much this fills my heart with joy because I know there are children out there who watched this and perhaps will develop a love for this bad movie the way I did 15 years ago.

I will leave you with some screen captures I made, with comments on some of my favourite Wizard moments.

"Is that something original Dad?" Fred Savage's crazy eyebrows. He lifts each eyebrow FIVE times. Okay, we understand you don't like your dad's tuna casserole with the first lift of the eyebrow.

"Did you have to make such a pig of yourself?" Oh, that snarky Savage. To deceive the parents into thinking this is a nice family film and not just a commercial for Nintendo, we have parts like this. Always makes me burst out in my most obnoxious laugh.

Beau Bridge's driving with his eyes closed, stuffing his face with donuts (that look like bagels) and having a near heart attack at the wheel.

Meet Lucas Barton. This smug bastard not only owns all 97 Nintendo games, but has a closet full of Vision Streetwear.

If only the powerglove worked as good in real life as it does in this movie. Where is Lucas Barton now that Nintendo Wii has come out??

I know. The most "classic" line. "I love the powerglove. It's sooo bad." I just stuck this picture in to show how ghetto the DVD release is. They didn't even use the original to make this widescreen. They cut it from the 'fit for TV' version. My VHS copy shows the whole glove at this part. I hope I'm not the only Wizard fan who noticed this.

When I watched the end credits over the past 15 years, I always thought "grease monkey" was this guy. Seriously!

At least I can say I'm happy that the DVD version shows the pure shine in his face. Is that the reflection of the camera on his skin??

Look at how clear you can see this man in the speedo. Too bad the DVD cut off his slippers and one sock - one of my favourite parts! Also, my grandpa agreed to play this man in our yet-to-be-made parody.

"Ahhhh, he touched my breast!!!" Always a good lesson to teach girls. When in trouble, just cry rape.

Maybe she should have just been honest and yelled that he's touching Jimmy Woods' nutsack.

"So you touched her breasts, huh?"

"Well you better not touch MINE!" Check out his tits!

recognize someone?

It's Tobey Maguire! Even though this is his first movie, he already looks embarrassed to be in it. With a mullet like that, he should be!

Just another display of Fred Savage's overacting. Geesh, it's an animatronic King Kong.

This touching scene is where Jimmy leaves a lunch pail filled with things belonging to his dead twin sister, in a cheesy tourist attraction........for a janitor to throw away!

This is only like 1/10th of the parts I laugh at when I watch this movie. Some parts just can't be captured and explained in a single image. So, coming soon: Katie's audio commentary of The Wizard. Or, just come over to my house and watch it with me. I'm always up for Wizard watching.

The Skateboard Kid 2

2008-06-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

As promised, I would review The Skateboard Kid 2. However, I didn't have to wait for my DVD copy to come in the mail. I managed to get my mangled VHS copy to work in a different VCR.

So, let me start by commenting on the cover of this movie. That first attracted me when I found it in the 3 for $5 section of That's Entertainment. Boy holding a chihuahua while flying on his skateboard over Mount Rushmore. The cover is quite deceiving because there is no chihuahua and no Mount Rushmore in this movie. However, that shouldn't disappoint you because the movie is much more cheesy than this cover could ever represent.

Sammy, the skateboard kid (2??) lives with his mom (who is also the mom of Elliot in E.T.) and his sister, Tilly, (who is also Kimmy Gibler, the annoying neighbour in Full House). Now, if you watched Full House, you'll remember Kimmy Gibler's family was never introduced in the show, so I believe this is the movie of Kimmy Gibler's family. They live next door to the Tanners (who unfortunately never make an appearance in the movie). Tilly (Kimmy Gibler) also goes on a date with Andrew Keegan and you may remember this actor as the boy who stood up Stephanie Tanner on her first date in Full House. See all these connections?!

Anyways, back to Sammy, he decides he wants to skateboard, so he builds his own crappy skateboard and embarrasses himself in front of the cool skateboarders at the park. Didn't Sammy ever see the film The Devil's Toy? Then a strange, old man lures Sammy into a warehouse and eventually he ends up with a skateboard that can not only talk, but fly!

Sammy and his talking/flying skateboard enter a skateboard competition, but after the skateboard exerts all of it's energy flying to the competition, Sammy is forced to skateboard without the magical board. Wooo!

Now, something I MUST point out about this skateboard competition is that it's much like Video Armageddon, the video game competition in one of my favourite movies, The Wizard. Why? Well, both are sponsored by Vision Streetwear. Yes, I know I'm the only person who would ever notice this, but I had to point it out.

Of course, Sammy wins and Elliot's mom doesn't have to give up their house (oh yeah, there was a big Goonies-like subplot about Elliot's mom being unable to afford their home).

Every aspect of this movie is total cheese. The music, the acting, the plot, but just like an episode of Full House, it's totally watchable and enjoyable! Actually, I'd say it's far worse than watching Full House, but in my opinion, that's a good thing.

I'm pretty much convinced that any movie which is a sequel to a movie not worthy of having a sequel, will be AWESOME. Other examples: Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo, Troll 2...k, that's all I can think of...but now The Skateboard 2 can be added to that list!

Nilbog Invasion

2008-06-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

You might as well call this my "Nilblog" due to the fact that I barely write in here, but when I do it's mainly in relation to Troll 2.

I was working on a review of my newest bad movie find, The Skateboard Kid II, when right towards the end of the movie, my VCR ate it!! No worries, it's out on DVD, so I'm ordering it. It's that bad (or good depending how you look at it), I need a new copy.

While you wait for that review, why don't you head down to Nilbog (Morgan, Utah) this weekend for Nilbog Invasion - Troll 2 Celebration, presented by the Alamo Rolling Roadshow and Best Worst Movie.

It's pretty insane seeing the publicity this event is getting and going to get. Ain't It Cool News wrote about it today and word on the street is MTV is showing up to this thing. Does it get any bigger than MTV?

I could seriously cry because I'm missing out, but two Troll 2 related trips to Utah in one year is a little out of my budget. I'll have to enjoy what I've missed out on when the Best Worst Movie documentary is released.

Big Mac...and Me

2008-06-04T14:33:00.001-07:00

I think some of the best worst movies are ones that are commercials disguised as movies. Mac and Me is exactly that. Not only is it an E.T. rip off, but it's an advertisement for McDonalds, Coke and Skittles!

Many years ago, I used to joke about renting Mac and Me. One day, I took my joke too far by actually renting it. This turned out to be a decision I would never regret. I became obsessed with this "mysterious, alien creature" and all of the not-so-subtle product placements.

If you've never seen Mac and Me, I recommend you go to these links and watch these clips (hopefully, they'll inspire you to rent the movie):

McDonald's dance scene
Wheelchair scene
Ronald McDonald's Mac and Me trailer

And, here's my list of things you need to notice when you watch Mac and Me:

1. A cameo by the annoying red headed kid from Different Strokes.
2. The abbreviations used up until they name Mac. What's with 80's alien's having abbreviation names?
3. The exact same Snorks scene plays at the exact same part, two different times.
4. Eric in a wheelchair. Now I understand, that's not something to laugh at, but you can't help but question their motives for having the main character in a wheelchair. "Don't make fun of this movie, or you're making fun of kids in wheelchairs." Okay, at least it makes for good laughs when he rolls off the cliff.
5. Debbie on the vacuum cleaner. Particularly the part where she rides up the wall. You can see the doll on the track.
6. The touching scene, where Mac is chased up a tree by some dogs and some adult contemporary music.
7. Mac's way of communicating with his family. I always immitate that "woooo" thing for fun.
8. The whole dance scene, but especially the guys doing flips through the windows of McDonalds and Mac's dance in the teddy suit. Another thing I like to immitate for fun.
9. "Waves, Waves" song, while their minivan almost hits the horses running in the desert. That song is so inappropriate. It should be "Sand, Sand."
10. The crying scene. It's so powerful! Now we see where the budget from McDonalds went.
11. When those two random guys run to the court house and say, "Okay, the house? Is everything arranged at the house?"
"Everythings been taken care of."
"What about the car?"
"The car. The car."
"Headroom?"
"What about headroom?"
"There's plenty of headroom."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
"Let's go, let's go, we can't be late!"
"I'm coming!"
12. The bubble gum bubble that says "We'll be back!"

I'm still waiting Mac!

Nilbog Fever

2008-06-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

I had my Ultimate Troll 2 Party this weekend and it was more amazing than I could have ever imagine it to be. All of our props, decorations, food and games turned out fantastic. My friends were so energized and great participants in the Trollympic games. Michael Stephenson, George Hardy and documentary filmer, Katie, did not piss on our hospitality. It was great to hang out with them again.

The screening in the backyard was an awesome way to watch Troll 2. Just like seeing it at the drive-in.

The next day we went to the Toronto screening. I could tell the majority of the audience had never seen Troll 2 before, but that made it even more entertaining because of the audience reaction to the film.

I wore green "sap" on my face and carried around Nilbog milk at the Troll 2 screening. When the movie ended, I went to say goodbye to Michael, George and Katie, but they were busy signing autographs, mingling with fans and filming. I had to "wait and be patient."

While waiting, a boy who looked around the age of 13, with braces, glasses and generally quite nerdy, came up to talk to me.

Boy: Where did you get your Nilbog milk??

Me: I had a Troll 2 party last night and this was a left over prop.

Boy: You are the coolest girl ever!!!!!!!!

I love that I became the coolest girl ever to this dorky pre-teen. Awww, he was so awkward and adorable, but totally cool because he's so young and loves Troll 2. He kinda reminded me of a younger version of myself, which is probably why I found this encounter so endearing.

Troll 2 fills my heart with joy, as corny as that sounds. The movie, itself, is hilarious, but I have so many amazing memories and have met such amazing people because of this film. I absolutely love this movie and the experiences it's brought to my life. Anyway, I could go on and on, but I think I'll just show you a few of my many pictures from this weekend. Sorry this entry is so image heavy. I have too many great photos to share and these aren't even half of them! Actually, if you wanna see all of them, click here.

Also: for all Troll 2 fans, check out the store keeper's blog, Donald Packard.

Grill Skillz

2008-05-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

I have a love for dated instructional videos, so when my friend Blair of the Lost Media Archive introduced me to Wendy's "Grill Skills" video, I fell in love with the burger rap. He actually has an original copy of this on VHS in the archive!

Before you watch these clips of Grill Skills, I must warn you that you'll never eat a Wendy's hamburger the same way. You'll always think of the pressed square slab of beef and imagine your burger patty singing "We start to shrink. When we hit that grill, you know we will."

I wonder if Wendy's still uses this video to train new employees? And I wonder if McDonalds, Burger King or White Castle ever made instructional videos this rad?

Grill Skills Part 1
Grill Skills Part 2

You're Invited To The Ultimate Troll 2 Party

2008-05-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

Troll 2 is the absolute classic "so bad it's good" movie. When I was introduced to the film 5 years ago, I instantly became obsessed with it's weirdness. I was so obsessed, I started hosting Troll 2 parties and getting as many friends into this film as I could. A few years later, I found the actors online, as well as many fans and realized I wasn't the only person into this awful film.

Troll 2 had been gaining a cult following ever since it's release on DVD in 2003. Michael Stephenson, who played the lead role of Joshua in the film, grew up to be a film maker and decided to make a documentary on the Troll 2 phenomenon, appropriately titled, Best Worst Movie.

To make a long story short, I ended up in Utah last summer, participating in the biggest Troll 2 cast reunion. I hung out with the director, writer and all the actors, got interviewed for Michael Stephenson's documentary and visited all of the Troll 2 film sites. It was the most amazing experience and I'm sure I'll end up writing a more detailed blog entry of my experience at some point.

However, I just wanted to use this space to publicize my Troll 2 Party, which I believe will be the best Troll 2 party any fan has ever thrown.

What: The Ultimate Troll 2 Party
When: Friday, May 30th, 2008. Starts at 7 pm.
Where: St. Catharines, Ontario (since this is not a public event, you'll have to email: troll2partycanada@gmail.com for more details on directions).

Actors from Troll 2, George Hardy (Michael Waits) and Michael Stephenson (Joshua Waits) will be attending. Yep. The stars of this film will be attending! Ask them all those burning Nilbog questions you've had about the film that's been dubbed "the best worst movie ever".

I will be preparing a whole Nilbog feast (plus BBQ), so "dance and eat my children."

We will be having the Trollympics!! Games will include:

- Holly Weights
- Flower Pots races
- Corn on the Cob eating competition
- Green spit competition
- Spear Arnold

Then we will watch Troll 2 on the big screen, in the backyard, drive-in style (minus the cars), play some Troll 2 trivia, have a Q & A with the actors and give away AWESOME Troll 2 prizes to the winners.

Never seen Troll 2? Well, this will be the best time to see it for the first time.

If anyone reading is interested in attending, email: troll2partycanada@gmail.com and I can give you more details. Let's finally show Michael and George some Canadian Nilbog hospitality!!

Welcome to my bad movie blog

2008-05-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

Writing the first entry in a blog is probably the most difficult entry to write. I've had the idea of making a blog for all the hilariously horrible movies I watch for over a year now and finally I've taken the first step with creating it. Now it's on to the second step, writing in it.

This may sound geeky, but I have a few intentions with starting this blog and thought I'd just share those with you:

1 - I'd like to keep track of all the bad movies I watch. I watch so many, I'm losing track, so writing in this blog will help with that.

2 - I'd like to introduce other people to some bad movie gems. It's surprisingly difficult to find blogs for bad movie recommendations, so here's one!

3 - I'd also like to hopefully get some recommendations from others on movies in the same genre.

Now, I think it's also important in this first entry to explain exactly what type of movies I will be covering because there are endless movies that can fit into the genre of "bad", but I prefer the ones that are unintentially terrible. There is something incredibly endearing about movies that set out to be great, but fail completely. I've got to say, I can't stand when movies (and too many have come out in recent years like this) know they're making something bad and even aim for that. It's very obvious to viewers, like myself, when something intends to be bad or it just ends up that way by accident. I'm writing about the accidental bad movies.

Also, I find that it's easy for distasteful movies to fall into the category of bad. Okay, so obviously what I'm talking about is campy horror movies and porn. Pretty much all pornos are bad, but I don't wanna cover any of those. It's so easy for a movie to turn bad (and maybe even funny) when you throw in some nudity. It's too easy to rely on that for laughs. I'm just not into that. I've been told by a few of my bad movie friends that my taste in bad movies falls into the G-rated category.

I think I enjoy mainly G-rated bad movies because many movie makers think they can throw anything into a movie made for children and kids will watch and probably love it. That often makes for hilarious bad movies. However, not all my favourite movies are G-rated. I'll probably give you a warning if any of these movies are ones you might not wanna sit down and watch with your parents. For instance, the burlesque scene in Glen or Glenda can make for some uncomfortable viewing with the family. I'll let you know these sorts of things ahead of time. Yes, I realize, I sound like I'm mormon, but that's just the way I am.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy my blog and feel free to throw me any recommendations of movies I should write about if it sounds like it fits into the genre I'll be covering. Thanks!!